Chicken Bones
by Usagi-san's ipod
Summary: Roxas didn't need to spend time at the Radiant Garden adolescent mental health facility, he wasn't crazy like the people in there, but maybe...maybe it'll help, a little bit. AU, Shounen-ai. AkuRoku
1. Day One

**A/N: Long author's note here guys, so if you don't really care about what's been going on with me then just skip to the start of the story :D altough, I kind of hope you do care about me, as I provide you with a semi-regular dose of man lovin' XD**

**The reason why I haven't uploaded anything for a long time (my sincere apologies) is because, as impulsive as I am, I decided to give up yaoi for lent. Uh huh, it was damn hard, but now I've managed to type up the first chapter of my new story for you guys, which I hope you'll enjoy :) Also, any of you who are waiting for me to update 'Radio Baby', I am currently having a little trouble with the plot, but I am working on it so just sit tight ^^**

**Oh, just to warn you, this fic contains a lot of foul language.  
**

* * *

You may have noticed, that I'm not all there myself...

* * *

Looking back, Roxas would probably describe _that moment _as the worst moment of his life. Worse than the time his mother found his razorblade and all of the useless, teary therapy sessions that came afterwards put together.

It was a regular weekly bullshit 'family therapy' session, where a pig-faced woman called Kathy would point out all the ways Roxas' mother had failed as a parent, while she nodded like a dog on a dashboard, clutching a tissue to her streaming face, and Roxas' younger brother would glower at him from the other side of the room, because if Roxas weren't so self-centred and crazy, he could be skateboarding with his friends right about now.

Roxas would just stay silent the whole time, and shrug occasionally when asked why he thought he'd turned out to be such a screw up. Was it the lack of a father figure? No. Did his father's death affect him badly? Not really, he was two. He didn't really remember the man. Was he jealous of his brother? Hell the fuck no. Can I go home now?

He would just finger his favourite black and white checked wrist band, and try not to think about the fact that on the other side of the giant wall-length mirror behind Kathy, at least two doctors and/or medical students were scrutinizing him, scribbling down notes in their stupid notepads. How was this supposed to be helping, again?

He was really getting into slinging mental insults at every person within his general vicinity, when Kathy said the eight words that sent his stomach dropping to the floor.

"A place at Radiant Garden has become available."

Roxas started, looking towards the woman with wide eyes. No.

She'd mentioned this 'Radiant Garden' place in passing at an earlier session, saying about how it was so in demand, and there were limited places and a long waiting list, so Roxas wouldn't be able to go anyway. At the time he'd wondered why the fuck she'd even brought it up.

Roxas' mother turned to him with a watery smile, "Maybe it'll help."

"Of course it'll help; they have a 98% success rate with the patients they take on." Kathy said haughtily, the fucking pig-faced bitch.

"What happened to the 2%?" Roxas asked, but she ignored him. He turned back to face his mother, "I don't want to go."

"But, Roxas…"

"No. I'm not going and you can't make me!" He whined, mentally flinching at how pathetic he knew he sounded.

"Actually, Roxas," Kathy butted in. Roxas hated the way she pronounced his name, drawling out the last syllable, _Rox-assss,_ "You are a minor, so I am legally obligated to section you under the mental health act. Radiant Garden is expecting you by 5pm today. That is all."

He stormed out, slamming the door as hard as he could behind him, imagining it to be that stupid bitch's face.

* * *

It was August. Fucking _August_! He should have been enjoying his summer like any other 16 year old, but _no _of course not, he was stuck in a boiling hot tin can, shit heap of a car, with his mother twittering away about how this could be really good for him, and he'd be back to his normal self in no time. His normal…self, what does that even mean?

Roxas just wound down his window as far as it would go, and sat back with his eyes closed, he was exhausted from the rage he'd been in all day, refusing to help his mother pack his things, hurling every insult and curse word in his vocabulary towards his brother when the little brat had the _gall _to ask if he could use his computer/PlayStation while Roxas was in the 'nut house'.

An hour and a half's journey brought them to a town centre that Roxas had heard of but never set foot in before, and after driving past many, many Chinese restaurants and one University, they turned into a driveway flanked by ominous looking trees, and came to a halt in front of what could essentially have been a nice, countryside-esque cottage, if it weren't for the large blue plaque next to the front door that read, 'Radiant Garden, Adolescent Mental Health Facility, Head Nurse, Tifa Lockhart.'

Roxas lagged behind as they made their way to the door, dragging his bag along the ground behind him, ("for God's sake, carry it properly Roxas!") and they were buzzed in by a bored looking blonde receptionist, who was chewing idly on a piece of gum.

"You must be the new arrival." She drawled, looking at Roxas with a slight smirk, "Tifa's expecting you, she'll be out in a moment if you'd like to take a seat." She gestured towards a few mismatched armchairs that were scattered around the small entrance hall. Roxas plonked down onto one heavily, biting his tongue to keep from commenting that the receptionist should not scrape her hair back like that, with a forehead as large as hers. He took to staring at a vending machine that was randomly placed in a corner of the room, while his mother thumbed through an ancient magazine, and after what seemed like an eternity, to Roxas anyway, a set of double doors across the room from the reception desk opened, revealing a pretty woman in a light green nurse's uniform and navy blue cardigan, her glossy black hair tied in a low ponytail at the base of her neck. She smiled warmly at Roxas and his mother in turn, before speaking, "Ah, Our new arrival, Roxas, isn't it?"

He wished they would stop saying 'new arrival'; he was starting to feel like he'd stumbled into _Corpse Bride _or something.

"I hope you haven't been waiting too long, I'm Tifa, the head nurse here at Radiant Garden. We'll be seeing a lot of each other." She smiled again, before turning to Roxas' mother, "We'll have to say goodbye, as we have set meal times, and we still need to do an initial health check on Roxas, just height, weight, that sort of thing, and of course I'll give him the grand tour and introduce him to everybody."

"Uh, ok." His mother seemed taken aback by Tifa's abruptness for a second before she turned to her son, "Well, I'll see you when I visit in a few days, I guess." Her voice cracked and tears sprung to her eyes as she hugged Roxas tightly.

"Bye." He said monotonously, watching her exit the building, before turning towards Tifa.

"Ok, Roxas, if you'd like to follow me." The brunette said, typing in a code to let them inside the main building, "So we don't get any escapees." She said, answering Roxas' unasked question, "Only the nurses have the code, and so if you want to go outside, apart from the garden, you'll have to ask one of us to let you out, but that is only if you can prove yourself to be trusted to return, of course."

* * *

Just inside the door was a long corridor, with 2 doors at the other end, and a staircase leading up to another door. To Roxas' left, there was another short corridor leading to another bunch of doors, and to his right was the same. There was no one around, apart from a boy with dirty blonde, oddly spiked hair, who was sat on the floor with his back to the wall, nodding his head in time with whatever music was blasting through the large headphones he was wearing. The place smelt sterile, of hospitals and bleach.

"All new arrivals get placed in this room." Tifa said, walking off to the right and opening a door to reveal a white painted room that was on the large side, much to Roxas' surprise. The only furniture was a spindly looking single bed with blue blankets and a chest of drawers. It had an ensuite bathroom.

"It's on the girl's side unfortunately, but you will get moved over to the boy's side once you get settled in, ok?" The brunette continued, "Just, leave your bag here, you can unpack later."

Opposite Roxas' room was what Tifa called 'the medical room'. Inside which was a surly looking doctor, who told Roxas to strip.

"What?" he replied, eyes wide, taking a step back towards the door, which was blocked by Tifa.

"It's so we can weigh you accurately."

"No."

"Roxas…"

"No fucking way. I'm not taking my clothes off."

"Language, Roxas."

"I'm not doing it."

Tifa looked at her watch briefly and sighed, "Ok, I'll let you off since you only just got here, and we don't have time to argue, I need to complete the tour before 6, so we've only got 15 minutes. But you'll have to do it at some point, alright?"

"Fine," Roxas spat, "why is dinner so important?"

"We have structured mealtimes as a group, as it benefits everyone to have a routine, but it's mostly for the individuals with eating disorders."

"Ok…one question?"

"Yes?"

"How many patients are there here? And how many different…illnesses do they have?"

"I can't discuss anyone's reasons for being here, but at the moment we have 4 boys, including yourself, and 2 girls, and they are all around your age."

Roxas started feeling slightly nervous; he was going to be stuck in this place for God knows how long, with a bunch of crazy people. He didn't belong there. He wanted to go home.

* * *

Once they'd arrived back into the main corridor, 'headphones boy' had gone, and the place was still eerily quiet. Tifa showed Roxas the games room, which was a large room with a pool table and a PlayStation hooked up to an ancient TV, and through the games room was the garden, ("Yes, Roxas, you can smoke out here, but we'd like it if you at least _tried _to give up") and where all the bathrooms were.

"This is the lounge." Tifa said, putting a hand on Roxas' shoulder as the three people occupying the room turned to look at him, "and opposite here is the kitchen-slash-dining room, where you'll meet everyone in about 2 minutes." The brunette pointed to a young blonde man in similar mint green scrubs to her own, "This is Cloud, and he's a student nurse, so feel free to ask him anything, and over there are Aqua (a girl with short blue hair waved slightly before turning back to a soap she was watching on the large flat screen TV) and Naminé (the tiny blonde girl didn't look up from her thick novel, but blushed a deep shade of scarlet) Oh, and the boy in the corridor earlier was Demyx."

Roxas nodded, even though he knew he would forget all those names within ten minutes.

* * *

The long table in the dining room had 3 laminated pieces of paper in the seats furthest away from the door, with names on. Roxas noticed as he walked past, that the blue haired girl's name, Aqua, was written on one of them, in neat blue felt tip writing, surrounded by doodles of flowers. The girl herself, who had followed Roxas into the room, went and sat in her allocated place.

"Sit wherever you want, Roxas." Tifa said, pushing a metal trolley into the room with trays of food on it. It did not smell appetizing.

Roxas sat in the corner of the table nearest the door, hoping that the floor would swallow him. He'd never felt so awkward in his life. At that moment, he'd have rather had a million family sessions with Kathy bitch-face than be in that dining room with its plastic table and God-awful smelling food.

The blonde girl from earlier came in and sat as far away from everyone else as she could manage, her nose still buried in her massive novel, and Headphones boy, minus the headphones came in too, appeared to count the chairs and sat exactly 3 seats away from Roxas, his hands folded on his lap.

As Tifa worked on removing the foil from the trays of food, Cloud marching in with two boys in tow, one of whom was even shorter than Roxas (and Roxas was _short_) with slate coloured hair that hung over one side of his face, obscuring it from view, and the other was ridiculously tall, and had fire truck red hair that reached his shoulders in spikes of various lengths. The only thing similar about the two of them was that they were both skeletally thin, and the baggy clothes they were wearing did nothing to disguise it, in fact, it enhanced it.

"Ok guys, come and get it." Tifa called, addressing Roxas, Blonde girl and Headphones boy, who grudgingly got up and filled their plates with what looked like, and what Roxas hoped was, some kind of stew.

The blonde watched as Cloud handed the 3 at the other end of the table a plate each containing a sandwich, an apple and a packet of crisps.

"Before we start, I want to introduce Roxas." Tifa said, gesturing towards Roxas before sitting at the centre of the long table. A murmured greeting passed through all the teens, and the redhead seemed to do a quick double-take, before they all started eating.

The meal was quiet, the only sounds being the occasional scrape of forks and Tifa asking individuals questions, and receiving monosyllabic answers.

About half way through however, the redhead suddenly engaged Cloud, who was sitting at the head of the table between the two thin boys, in animated conversation, and all eyes turned towards him, and Roxas was sure he was the only person who noticed the slate haired boy shove a huge chunk of sandwich up his sleeve.

* * *

As soon as he was able, Roxas practically sprinted the length of the corridor to his room, slammed the door and collapsed on his bed in a sobbing mess. He picked up his mobile phone and dialled home, thanking God that it was his mother who picked up.

"Mum, please come and get me!" He gasped, tears running down his face, "I can't do this, I can't." He didn't care how pathetic he must have sounded.

"Oh honey." His mother whispered, "You know I can't do that. It won't be long until I visit and I'll bring you magazines and chocolate and maybe even some of those energy drinks you like, ok?"

"No!" Roxas shrieked, "No, please, please I'm begging you, come and get me. I can't stay here I just fucking CAN'T. I'm not like them, I'm not crazy! Please Mum…"

"Roxas." His mother said; her voice suddenly stern, "Stop this right now. You know I can't come and get you, if you don't calm down I'm going to hang up."

"No, No! Don't hang up, please!" Roxas started coughing.

"See, look, you're going to make yourself sick if you carry on like this, just stick it out, and I'll see you in a few days."

Roxas let out a loud sob as the dial tone sounded in his ear, before his face contorted with rage and he threw his phone across the room, and he let out a loud scream as he knocked over the chest of drawers, trying his best to trash the sparsely furnished room.

As he was attempting to tip over the bed, strong arms suddenly gripped him from behind.

"Let me go, you bastard!" Roxas screamed, trying to wriggle out of Cloud's grasp.

Tifa squatted down in front of him, and he stopped moving, going limp in Cloud's arms and panting heavily, glaring down at the brunette in front of him.

"Roxas honey, what's wrong?" She said soothingly, "Don't you want to be here?"

"Of course I fucking don't." He spat, "I don't belong here; I'm not like them. I'm not fucking crazy!"

Tifa's face hardened a little, "No-one here is _crazy _Roxas." The soothing tone was gone from her voice, "Everyone is here because they need our help, that's all, and, like it or not, that includes you."

Roxas struggled against Cloud's hold again.

"Do you understand why you are here?"

He turned his head away, and shrugged his shoulders, flinching when Tifa answered her own question.

"You are here because you have been diagnosed with severe depression, and you have regularly self-harmed for at least two years and have made one suicide attempt. We are here to help you, we want to help you," The brunette put a hand on his shoulder, "and you need to let us, ok?"

Roxas just kept his head turned, staring at a spot on the carpet, willing the tears that were stinging his eyes not to fall.

He felt Cloud release him and the two nurses made their way out of the room, Tifa just pausing to tell him to tidy up. When the door clicked Roxas rushed over to his bag, scattering clothes over the floor, sending his sketchbook flying, until he reached what he was looking for. He practically ripped open his pencil case in search of the blue plastic sharpener, stamping on it to shatter the plastic casing, before locking himself in the bathroom with the blade.

* * *

**A/N: Please review, I love hearing all of your opinions, espescially on a first chapter ^^  
**

**~Ryu  
**


	2. Day Two

**A/N- I wasn't going to upload this yet, as I was hoping to upload a one-shot today...but, that one-shot is...terrible ^^; I need to spend more time on it, so here is Chapter 2 of Chicken Bones a couple of days early instead :)**

**I am over the moon with** **positive response I got from the first chapter :D Thanks so much guys!**

* * *

A fear comes alive, like you'll never be free

* * *

Roxas woke up with a start, facing a blank, white wall, and it took a second for him to realise he wasn't at home. No, it wasn't a bad dream; he was well and truly in the 'nut house', as his brother had so delicately called the place.

He had received a timetable of sorts yesterday, when he arrived, and he knew that breakfast was at 7am sharp. Checking the time on his phone, he scrambled up and into the shower, he only had 5 minutes.

The cut in the crook of his elbow had scabbed over, luckily. He didn't want anyone to notice. He pulled his red and white sweater over his head as he headed out of his room, almost bumping into the weird shy blonde girl. She was still clutching the novel she was reading yesterday, and her cheeks reddened as she scurried away from the scene of their almost-collision, towards the dining room.

Roxas was so not looking forward to the meal, if last night's dinner was anything to go by, but any sense of rebellion he could have mustered up to stay in his room all morning had somehow been replaced with a desire to not let Tifa down. Maybe it was a special ability of the head nurse's, to be able to get people to do what she wanted.

He wasn't the last person to arrive in the dining room; he noticed as he sat down in the same seat as last night, the short boy with the slate coloured hair hadn't arrived yet.

Tifa was placing small individual boxes of cereal and jugs of milk on the table, humming to herself. The redhead gave the jug of white liquid that had been placed in front of him a look of disgust, as if it had offended him in some way.

"Come on Zexion, you know what time breakfast is. Why are you late?" The nurse asked, her back to the small boy who had just shuffled in.

He didn't answer and she didn't seem to expect one, because she didn't say anything else as he took his seat opposite the redhead.

As everyone else poured cereal and milk into their bowls, Roxas found himself watching the three at the opposite end of the table. He had assumed that they were the kids with eating disorders, although the blue haired girl seemed to not have a problem with the food in front of her, and she was nowhere near as thin as the two boys.

Tifa had poured out careful measures of milk into cups and placed them in front of the three, and the girl just poured hers on her cereal and started to eat, however, the boys poured theirs on slowly, and started mashing the cornflakes into it, so the cereal and milk formed together in a solid mass.

"Eat it properly, guys." Tifa scolded, taking a seat at the head of the table, her eyes never leaving the kids in front of her.

"It's going down my throat and into my stomach. How else am I supposed to eat it?" The redheaded boy said, flashing the nurse a quick grin, but failing to fully wipe the look of revulsion from his face; the slate haired boy winced.

"Very funny, Axel, but look, you've still got some milk in your cup there, finish it all, please."

When everyone had almost finished, Tifa handed out tiny paper cups (they reminded Roxas of the things you put your ketchup in at fast food restaurants) with tablets in. When she reached Roxas, however, she didn't hand him any pills but told him that when he was done, he had his first session with his therapist.

"So if you just wait here for a minute I'll take you up there, ok?" The brunette smiled, and patted Roxas lightly on the shoulder before continuing to hand out medication.

* * *

The therapist, ("Call me Aerith") had an office that was up a flight of stairs that were hidden behind a doorway on the girl's side of bedrooms. Roxas wouldn't really have chosen to call it an office though, sure, there was a desk with a computer on it, and shelves stacked with heavy psychology books and various files, but the room seemed…cosy. Aerith was sat on a flower patterned armchair, and Roxas was sat opposite her on a purple velvet loveseat. There were thank you cards plastered all over the walls, which Roxas assumed were from former patients.

"Roxas, I assume you've attended some form of counselling sessions before, am I right?" Aerith said in her soft, airy voice.

Roxas nodded, shifting in his seat slightly.

"Did you find them beneficial in any way?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be stuck here, would I?" Roxas muttered, and to his surprise, Aerith let out a light laugh.

"Of course, that was silly of me to ask, right? Well, I'll just say this; I don't want you to treat our sessions together as therapy. We are just going to chat, about anything and everything, and you will never see me take notes. Ok?"

Roxas nodded again, and then declined when Aerith offered him tea.

"How are you settling in, Roxas?" She asked, placing her hands on her knee.

"Uh, not well, I guess. I trashed my room last night." Roxas found himself admitting. He blushed and looked down at the floor, "I just…I want to go home."

"And you will, you won't be here forever, trust me on that."

"What's the longest time someone has been here for?" The blonde asked, not sure if he wanted to know.

"Hmm…I'm not sure. It all depends on the seriousness of the case and the willingness of the patient to get better." Aerith seemed to dodge the question, "Do you want to get better?"

Roxas shrugged.

"When was the last time you cut yourself, Roxas?"

Whoa, straight to the point there. He couldn't tell her the truth, right? That would mean staying in that shithole for even longer.

"Uh…just before I came here, I guess." He answered, feeling instantly guilty when the pretty therapist flashed him a bright smile.

"That's good. Maybe the change of scene did you some good."

Roxas nodded, feeling an odd hollow sensation in his stomach, it was weird, he'd done nothing but lie to everyone for the longest time, yet there was something about Aerith that made him want to blurt out his innermost thoughts. It was unnerving.

"Who lives at home with you? Mum, Dad…?"

"Just my Mum and my brother."

"Is he a younger or older brother? What's his name?" Aerith settled back in her chair slightly.

"Younger, by 2 years…his name is Ventus; he likes to be called Ven, for short."

"Do you get along well with Ven?"

Roxas hesitated before replying, "No."

Aerith just nodded and seemed to wait for Roxas to elaborate, but when he didn't say anything else she changed the subject.

"So what do you do in your free time? Play any sports? Hang out with friends?"

"I, uh, I draw a lot. I'm not much of a people person." Roxas admitted sheepishly.

"Hmm…have you met Naminé?" Aerith asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Who?"

"She's the same age as you, small blonde girl, a little shy, but I think the two of you may have a lot in common."

Ah, the weird girl with the novel. Roxas raised a sceptical eyebrow.

"Tomorrow you actually have a group session with me, and Naminé is involved in that too, so we'll leave it here for today, but I'm setting you some homework."

"Homework? Seriously?" Roxas asked indignantly.

"Yup," Aerith smiled, "I would like you to talk to Naminé, before our session tomorrow, please."

Roxas stood and made his way over to the door.

"Oh, and Roxas..."

He turned back to face the brunette.

Aerith tapped the inside of her elbow, "That blood is going to be hell to get out of that white sweater. Please don't lie to me again."

Roxas glanced at his arm, sure enough; the cut he made last night was bleeding through his sleeve. He felt himself blush, "S-sorry." He stammered, exiting the room as quickly as he could.

As he was making his way back towards his room, Roxas was stopped by Tifa in the hallway. "Roxas, I'd like it if you didn't spend all your free time in your room. We encourage social interaction here, so, could you stay in the lounge or the games room until lunch at least?"

Roxas sighed, "Ok, but let me just grab my sketchbook and stuff."

The brunette nurse smiled and let him through, and Roxas did what she asked and picked up his sketchbook, leafing through it briefly before heading towards the lounge. It was nearly full. He made a mental note to ask his mother to bring him a new one when she visited.

* * *

As luck would have it, the only other person in the lounge was Naminé. The small girl was sitting in a shabby armchair, her knees drawn up to her chest. She was sketching in a small sketchbook.

Roxas sat down cautiously beside her. She showed no sign that she noticed him, apart from a slight pause of her pencil.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Roxas said awkwardly, and the girl turned to him with a look of horror.

"Uh, I meant…" Roxas waved his sketchbook in the air, "Your drawings. Can I see?"

"Oh…um…ok." Naminé whispered. Her voice wasn't as high pitched as Roxas had been expecting. They traded sketchbooks and sat in comfortable silence as they leafed through the drawings.

Naminé's sketchbook was full of manga style drawings, and Roxas was taken aback at how good they were.

"I wish I could draw like this." They both said at the same time, before turning to each other and laughing awkwardly.

"I really do, I love anime and stuff; these are amazing." Roxas continued, passing the girl's book back, and receiving his own.

Naminé blushed; she seemed to do that a lot, "Thanks." She whispered, "I wish I could draw realistic portraits like you. They are beautiful."

"Uh…they're not that good."

"They are. Don't be so modest." She smiled, "There are a lot of self-portraits." She pointed to a page that lay open.

"Oh, they're actually drawings of my brother." Roxas said, tracing a line with his fingertip.

"You must really care about him, to draw him like that."

Roxas shrugged.

Naminé turned to a page in her own book, and showed it to Roxas, it was a detailed drawing of an anime girl with long, braided blonde hair, a big smile on her face as she flashed a peace sign.

"This is my big sister, Rikku." She said softly.

Roxas didn't say anything. It was true, what he'd told Aerith. He wasn't a people person at all. He just rested a hand clumsily on the girl's shoulder, in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. Naminé just turned and smiled at him, before Tifa's voice rang through the hall, telling everyone they needed to make their way to the dining room.

* * *

When Roxas and Naminé entered the dining room, Cloud was in there already, supervising the blue haired girl, the short slate haired boy and the redhead Tifa had called Axel, as they placed food from the trays on the metal trolley onto their plates.

"That's fine Aqua." The student nurse said, nodding as the girl presented her full plate towards him, and she took her seat at the table.

"A little more meat please, Axel, and Zexion, you can't just have 1 new potato."

Roxas watched the two boys grudgingly add more food to their plates until Cloud was satisfied, and they sat down, as the two blondes made their way towards the trolley.

Two muffled voices could be heard from the hallway, and although what they were saying couldn't be distinguished, one sounded angry, and the other calm.

Tifa came through the door first, her hand firmly gripping the shoulder of 'headphones boy', who was red-faced and teary eyed.

"Come on Demyx. You don't need to wash your hands again." The head nurse said soothingly, her tone a contradiction to the vice-like grip she had on the sandy blonde, who was a lot taller than her.

"Just once more, please Tifa, I only did it twice, once more please." Demyx was babbling, trying to get away.

"You need to break the pattern, Demyx."

"No, I can't. Don't be a bitch, Tifa; just let me run back…"

"No." Tifa said firmly, "Watch your language."

Demyx managed to wriggle enough to break Tifa's hold on him, and he screamed towards the others, "What are you all fucking staring at?" Before running back out into the hallway, Tifa hot on his heels, calling his name.

"Axel." Cloud said suddenly, snapping Roxas attention to him, "did you just spit a load of food down your shirt?"

* * *

The boy called Axel had to stay behind after everyone else had finished their lunch, and Roxas could still hear his protests at 'having to make up his calorie count' as Cloud had put it, from the lounge where he was now sketching with Naminé in companionable silence.

'Headphones boy', Demyx, had never showed up again to the meal, neither had Tifa.

The head nurse reappeared at about half past 2, and sat beside Roxas on the threadbare lounge sofa.

"Roxas, there's someone new arriving this evening, and we'd like to put her in your room." She said.

"…with me?" Roxas questioned stupidly.

"Uh, no, honey, we're going to move you into a room on the boy's side. Don't worry, I'll help you settle in and show you where the bathroom and everything is."

Oh yeah, he forgot that he would have to share a bathroom.

"I'd rather not." Roxas said bluntly, closing his sketchbook a little too harshly, causing Naminé to jump and look up at him wide-eyed.

"I thought you might say that, unfortunately, you don't have a choice here, Roxas." Tifa's posture stiffened.

"I…I can't."

"It's going to happen whether you throw a tantrum or not. So don't make everything harder than it has to be."

"I'm not throwing a fucking tantrum!" Roxas stood up swiftly, Tifa jumping to her feet a millisecond later, "I'm not a fucking _child_."

"Well you are certainly behaving like one, and stop with the swearing or I'll find an empty room that you'll have to sit in for the rest of the day while Cloud and I move your belongings for you." Tifa crossed her arms over her chest and stared Roxas down.

The blonde eventually broke eye contact and sighed deeply, "Ok, fine. I'll go do it now. Show me what room I'm moving to." Tifa flashed him a warm smile before leading him towards the bedrooms. Roxas' mind was still focused on the pencil sharpener blade that was wrapped up in a tissue in the chest of drawers. He didn't want one of the nurses to find it, so he guessed he'd better cooperate.

Roxas opened the door of the room Tifa had pointed out, his freshly re-packed bag at his feet.

"It's…pink."

"Mmm…yes well, this used to be the girls' side, but since we've had more boys than girls for a long time now, we swapped over. This room is one of the ones that still haven't been repainted yet." Tifa said with a smile, "Now, shall I leave you to sort your things out?"

"Uh, I'll do that in a minute. Could I go into the garden for a bit?"

"For a cigarette?" Tifa asked with a slightly disapproving tone, "All right, but remember dinner is at 6."

* * *

Roxas sprinted through the hallway, and the deserted games room, before tugging open the patio door and slumping into a plastic garden chair, pulling his squashed packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lighting up immediately. It had been over 24 hours since his last cigarette and the nicotine flooding through his veins made him sigh contentedly.

"Fucking hell." A voice laughed behind him, making him jump, "I want what he's having. I didn't think that a cigarette could give you a fucking _orgasm_."

"Axel." Another voice warned. Roxas turned to frown at Axel who was still laughing. Cloud was stood just behind him, a stern look on his face.

"Sit down Axel, you took so long at lunch you haven't had your stationary period yet." The student nurse said.

"Yes, Mother dear." Axel replied sinking into another plastic chair, pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. He pushed up one sleeve of the maroon hoodie he was wearing, and his forearm was white and skeletal. Roxas was suddenly reminded of the bones in fried chicken.

The redhead paused after raising the white stick to his lips, and turned to Cloud, who was hovering in the doorway, "Can I not be watched, please?" He asked.

"This counts as your stationary period. I need to watch you." Cloud replied.

"Come on, please? This is the one pleasure I get in my clusterfuck of a life. Can't I enjoy it in peace?" Axel said, "I'm not gonna go anywhere. Newbie here will make sure of that, right?" He turned to Roxas, who just nodded, slightly confused by the situation.

"Ok, 5 minutes, and I'll be back." Cloud said, before shooting Axel a warning glance, "Don't try anything." The nurse walked away, and Axel sighed, settling back in his seat and lighting up.

A weird smell wafted under Roxas' nose.

"Whoa, don't tell me you seriously smoke _menthol cigarettes_?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at the boy beside him.

"What? I like the taste." Axel said, running his tongue over his teeth, "…minty."

"Gross, dude." Roxas said, looking Axel up and down quickly, "Er…What's a 'stationary period'?"

"We've gotta sit still for an hour after meals, to make sure we digest, and don't go and throw it all back up afterwards." The redhead answered nonchalantly.

"…Oh."

"What's your name again, newbie?"

"It's Roxas."

"You don't need to act so awkward around everyone, Roxas. We don't bite…except maybe Demyx. If you accidently touch him, he'll beat you right out of his face."

"Uh, ok."

At that moment Cloud reappeared, to Roxas' relief, and the blonde excused himself, hoping to spend some time in his new pink room before the fiasco that dinner was bound to be. He couldn't quite believe it had only been 2 days. Maybe time stood still in Radiant Garden.

* * *

**A/N- Menthol cigarettes equals gross. **

**~Ryu**


	3. Day Three

**A/N- I am really ill and a little out of it. So I hope this chapter makes sense XD**

**My fave song at the moment is 'When I come around' by Green Day**

* * *

Well don't get lonely now

* * *

The next morning, Roxas made his way towards the dining room, thinking about what Axel had said. Maybe he shouldn't act so awkward around the others, he'd already spoken to Axel and Naminé, and they seemed alright, if not a little weird.

He was going to be cautious around Demyx though, _if you accidentally touch him, he'll beat you right out of his face_.

There was an extra person at the table. Tifa had mentioned that there was a new arrival (urgh, 'new arrival' even he was saying it now.) It was a girl with dark red hair and big blue eyes. She would have been pretty if it weren't for the fact she was so emaciated. No prizes for guessing what she was in for.

The meal went off without a hitch, unless you call the new girl (who had been introduced by Tifa as Kairi) bursting into tears when a tiny amount of cereal was placed in front of her, a hitch. But, when it came around to Tifa handing out the medication, she placed a paper 'ketchup pot' in front of Roxas, with a green and yellow pill inside.

"Aerith has prescribed these for you; she's starting you on a small dose just to see how you get on." The head nurse murmured in passing.

Roxas paled; he couldn't take tablets. Literally _couldn't_. He couldn't swallow the damn things; it was like he had a hyper-sensitive gag reflex or something, he'd never even taken painkillers.

He didn't know what to do, so he slipped the pill under his tongue. There was no way he'd attempt to swallow it and end up choking in front of everybody. The bad thing was, he could feel the pill start to break down, and the overly bitter taste was seeping onto his tongue, so, he did the only thing he could think of at the time, which was to make a show of blowing his nose, only to spit the pill out into his tissue. Nobody suspected a thing, and it scared Roxas at how devious he could apparently be.

"The plan for today guys, is that you all head upstairs to the schoolroom until lunch, but Axel, Zexion, Naminé and Roxas, you need to go to the games room in a couple of hours for your group session with Aerith." Tifa said, as she checked that everyone had taken their meds.

Roxas' head snapped up when he heard his name, and he realised everyone was filing out of the dining room.

A hand clapped onto his shoulder, and he looked up to see Axel smiling down at him, "Come on, dude. Don't worry; it's not like real school."

* * *

The school room was up the stairs that were between the lounge and dining room, and it actually consisted of four small rooms, one containing computers, one art supplies and the other two were empty save for a few chairs, there was also a library type area in between the classrooms.

"So Roxas," A pretty woman with chestnut coloured hair who'd introduced herself as 'Selphie the teacher' said, smiling warmly at the blonde, "what do you like to do? Any hobbies?"

"Erm…I draw a bit…" Roxas replied awkwardly.

"Well, we have our art room, there's not much equipment in there I'm afraid, we rely purely on donations you see…" Selphie said, furrowing her brow a little, "The other boys, Axel and Zexion, keep saying about forming a band, do you play any instruments?"

"I…I play bass actually…sort of…"

"Wonderful!" Selphie steered Roxas towards one of the empty classrooms, well, it wasn't really empty, Axel was sitting on a chair strumming lightly on an acoustic guitar, and Zexion was sitting on a chair to the side of the redhead, just looking at a slightly tattered red electric guitar that was plugged into a small amp.

"Axel, put it down please. You need to keep still for an hour." Selphie scolded the redhead light heartedly, causing Axel to sigh and put the instrument down beside him, "Anyway, I've spoken to Roxas here and he's informed me that he plays bass, so maybe he could join you guys?" She beamed at Roxas, who was wishing that the floor would swallow him.

Axel smiled at the blonde too, and Zexion was just looking at him with an unreadable expression on the visible half of his face.

"Anyway, I'm off to see how the others are getting on. I trust you guys to be mature enough to sit through your stationary period without me having to watch you constantly." She shot a pointed look at Axel and Zexion before leaving the room.

"So, bass, huh?" Axel asked, leaning back slightly in his seat.

"Uh…yeah."

"How long have you been playing?"

"A…about a year and a half."

"Well aren't you just full of surprises." Axel said smirking at the blonde. Roxas felt his face instantly heat up, much to his own annoyance, "Anyway, get your parents or whatever to bring your bass, and we can jam properly." The redhead continued, before picking up the acoustic guitar again and strumming a riff Roxas vaguely recognised.

"Axel! Stationary period!" Selphie's voice sounded from outside.

* * *

After two hours of awkward conversation with Axel and Zexion, conversation that mostly consisted of Axel trying to think up band names, Roxas, Axel, Zexion and Naminé headed down to the games room together, where Aerith was waiting for them.

The patio door was open, and a slight breeze wafted the curtain.

"Hey guys, as it's so nice and sunny today, I thought we'd have our meeting outside." The pretty therapist said, gesturing towards the door.

"Ok, but, can we smoke?" Axel asked.

"If you must."

They arranged the plastic chairs in a circle on the grass, three streams of smoke lazily wafting up towards the blue summer sky.

"Well, I can congratulate you Naminé for not having this disgusting habit." Aerith said, sending a light glare towards the three boys, "Shall we start?"

Axel stood up abruptly, holding his right hand over his heart, "My name is Axel, and I'm an alcoholic." He said solemnly.

"That stopped being funny after you said it the 300th time." Zexion said, his voice almost a whisper, "In fact, it was never funny."

"Aww, don't be like that Zexy," Zexion visibly flinched at the nickname, "This is the same principle as alcoholics anonymous right?" Axel said, glancing over at Roxas, "So, Aer, want us all to show our scars to induct the newbie into our midst or something?"

Zexion glared at the redhead, and Naminé hung her head so her face was concealed by a curtain of her hair.

"Um, no Axel that won't be necessary." Aerith said, "Although you are half right about alcoholics anonymous, after all this is a support group, I am here to support you guys and you are here to support each other."

Roxas was confused to start with, but once Axel had mentioned scars, his heart beat faster in his chest, and he felt sick, this must be a group for…

"I'm sorry if this is awkward and embarrassing, but it's true what they say, 'a problem shared is a problem halved." Aerith said, smiling at Roxas, and placing a hand on Naminé's back.

Bullshit.

"So we can all help each other get better." Aerith finished.

"No thanks." Axel snorted, inhaling on his cigarette.

"Don't you want to get better Axel? Don't you want to get out into the world, be free and independent, get your own place, and maybe even get a girlfriend?"

Axel nearly choked as he started laughing, "You are in the wrong profession, Aer. You should be a comedian."

"So you want to be stuck here for another four years?" Aerith asked. Axel's laughter stopped abruptly, and Roxas gaped. Four years? He'd been stuck in that place for _four years?_

The redhead's expression darkened, "No I don't want to be stuck here." He muttered, turning away from the group, before standing up and crushing his cigarette under the heel of his shoe, "fuck you guys." He said, stalking back into the building, ignoring Aerith's calls of his name.

* * *

As Roxas made his way to the lunch room after the awkward and totally unhelpful group meeting, his mind was still on Axel. How long had the others been there? What if he himself had to stay for four years? He'd be 20 years old; he'd lose his teenage years, they were all losing them.

Aqua, Zexion, Axel and Kairi were already sitting at the table with plates of food in front of them, with Tifa at the head of the table instead of Cloud. Roxas assumed it was the student nurse's day off or something.

"I want you all to tie back your hair, and roll your sleeves up please." The head nurse said, watching as the four of them reluctantly did as they were told. Well, Aqua didn't seem to have a problem, "Both sleeves, Axel please."

Roxas nearly dropped his plate on the floor when the redhead rolled up his left sleeve, muttering under his breath the whole time.

His pale, white forearm was covered in circular scars, that looked like they could have been caused by cigarettes, but they were all evenly spaced, like a pattern.

Axel had done that to himself.

* * *

Roxas had zoomed back to his room as soon as he could after lunch, still feeling shook up about Axel's arm, even though he knew it was hypocritical of him to feel that way.

He flopped face first onto his bed, "What's wrong with me?" He groaned into his pillow, before turning his face to the side and staring at the pink wall for a couple of seconds.

Without really thinking, he picked up his phone and dialled home, and to his surprise, it was his brother who answered.

"Ven?" Roxas asked, his voice sounding a little croaky.

"Oh…hey, Rox, mum's at work at the moment…" His brother said awkwardly.

"Ok."

"What's up? You sound pretty weird."

"Ven…Do you hate me?"

The question came completely out of nowhere, and the line went silent, but Roxas could still hear his brother breathing.

"…Of course not, dummy." Ventus replied after a while, his voice suddenly quiet.

Roxas felt a lump in his throat; he hadn't talked to his brother properly in so long; he was too wrapped up in himself. He felt guilty. They used to be best friends.

"I miss you, Ven." He whispered, "I'm sorry…about everything; about putting you through shit because I couldn't cope with stuff."

"Shut up, Roxas. Don't go all sappy on me." Ventus replied, "…I miss you too. Hurry up and get better so you can come home."

Roxas laughed lightly, even though he could feel hot tears sliding down his cheeks, "I'll try." He said simply, sniffing.

"Good. Oh, by the way, Olette, Hayner and Pence came looking for you, but I didn't know what to tell them…"

Roxas' heart froze for a second, "Oh, uh, just tell them the truth, I guess."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, and Ven, when mum visits, can you ask her to bring my bass?"

* * *

"Kairi, stop moving your leg." Tifa said, effectively snapping Roxas out of his trance. He didn't remember coming to the dining room, he didn't even remember hanging up the phone. There was a dull ache spreading over his forearms, and when he looked up, Naminé and Axel were watching him with matching looks of…was that concern?

How many hours had passed since he phoned Ven? What had they talked about?

Oh yeah…Olette, Pence and Hayner were looking for him.

Pence and Hayner were looking for him.

Hayner was looking for him.

Roxas suddenly felt sick. He pushed his plate of half eaten whatever it was away from him, and slumped back in his seat.

"What's the matter, Roxas?" Tifa asked, placing a hand on his shoulder and making him jump out of his skin.

"Nothing, I just feel a little sick, that's all…" Roxas murmured, just noticing Axel put half a sandwich in his pocket while Tifa's attention was on the blonde, "Is it alright if I go lie down?"

"Sure." The head nurse nodded, and Roxas made his escape as Tifa was telling Kairi to keep her leg still again.

On his way back to his pink bedroom, Roxas dashed into the bathroom, and rolled up his sleeves, which was hard to do as the material of his long-sleeved black T-shirt was sticking to the unhealed zigzagging cuts on both of his forearms.

He fought back a retch as he rolled his sleeves back down and went to collapse on his bed. He didn't even remember doing it.

He felt really tired all of a sudden, and let himself drift off to sleep still fully clothed.

* * *

**A/N- I am in a music mood. What's your fave song at the moment?  
**

**~Ryu  
**


	4. Day Four

**A/N- Oh hi there. *wink* what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? :D**

**Glad everyone who has reviewed seems to be enjoying this story so far :)**

* * *

Way out in the water, see it swimmin'

* * *

Roxas woke with a heavy head, and seemed to drift through getting dressed, eating breakfast, and not taking his medication.

Before he knew it, he was in what the three boys had dubbed 'the band room', listening to Axel strum the same familiar riff as yesterday on his acoustic guitar.

"You know this song, right?" Axel asked him, and he shrugged.

"I kind of recognise it but can't think what it is…"

Zexion picked up his electric guitar and plugged it into the small amp beside him, waiting for the right moment before he joined in, adding some chords over Axel's playing.

"_With your feet in the air and your head on the ground…try this trick and spin it…your head'll collapse, but there's nothing in it and you'll ask yourself, where is my mind?" _The redhead sang quietly, almost to himself.

Appropriate, Roxas thought.

Just then, Selphie poked her head round the door.

"I'll ignore the fact that you guys are playing when it's still stationary period," She began, and Axel and Zexion put their instruments down with joint sighs, "That sounded great! I have a little proposition for you." The teacher came into the room fully, pulling up a chair and sitting down opposite the boys, "Would you mind recording some stuff for a CD? We're having a sort of sale for parents to raise money for Radiant Garden and maybe a CD would be good to sell." She looked round at them hopefully.

"Maybe…" Axel said quietly.

"Think about it." Selphie added, before leaving the room.

"It would be so awesome if Demyx could play the drums." The redhead said almost wistfully.

* * *

"I'm sorry to drag you away from the school room, Roxas." Aerith said, settling into her floral armchair, "I hear from Selphie that you've been getting along well with Axel and Zexion."

"Um, yeah, sort of…"

"It'll be good for you, I think, to make some friends."

"I have friends." Roxas blurted, "At home."

"Tell me about them."

"Um…well, there's Olette, she's like the mother of the group, and I'm not saying that because she's the only girl, but she looks out for us…the sensible one, y'know? A-and Pence, he's just happy to go along with whatever we do, as long as he can bring his camera…and Hay…" Roxas dropped his gaze for a second, feeling a lump rise in his throat, "Hayner…he's the cool guy…the leader."

"Where do you fit in?"

"I…I don't, really. They've all known each other since they were born. We moved to Twilight Town when I was ten, and I started hanging out with them then, so I was always…trying to keep up, I guess."

Roxas was surprised with how open he was being. Of all the counsellors he'd been dragged to before, none of them could get him to say two words to them, but with Aerith, it was a whole different story. He found himself almost _wanting_ to tell her everything.

"But still, friends for 7 years, you must all be pretty close." Aerith added, "Do you ever go to them when you feel low?"

Roxas shook his head, "I don't want to…burden them with my problems."

"What about the incident that occurred six months ago?"

"They…they don't know about that…I begged my Mum not to tell anybody the truth…" Roxas' voice cracked, and he looked down at the floor again, gripping onto his right wrist.

"How do you think they would have felt if you had managed to kill yourself Roxas? Their best friend of 7 whole years?"

"I can't…" Roxas whispered, almost inaudibly.

"Sorry?"

"I can't talk about this now…I'm sorry, I just can't."

"That's alright. I'm not here to force you to talk about things you don't want to talk about." Aerith said kindly, and it wasn't until she handed him a small box of tissues that he realised he was crying.

* * *

There was commotion downstairs when Roxas left Aerith's office, a crowd had gathered around the bedroom that Roxas had been placed in when he first arrived. Tifa was leaning against the door, tapping the wood with her knuckles.

Roxas' first thought was that something was wrong with Kairi, but he noticed the burgundy haired girl leaning against a wall, next to Naminé.

Roxas approached the girls and asked what was going on.

"A new person." Naminé answered quietly, "He's locked himself in the room and is refusing to come out."

"Marluxia, please open the door." Tifa was asking, "I can't help you if you lock yourself in."

"I don't need help; I don't need to be here!" A muffled voice sounded from inside the room.

"Look, I'll give you a few minutes to calm down, and when I come back I want to be able to talk to you rationally." The head nurse said, turning away from the door and addressing the spectators, "Come on guys, you should all be in the lunch room."

* * *

The usually near-silent mealtime was full of talk of the new arrival, as Zexion and Demyx, who were the only ones not at the scene, were filled in about what had gone on.

"Hey, come on guys it's not nice to talk about people behind their backs." Tifa lightly scolded, as she kept a careful watch over Axel, Zexion, Kairi and Aqua, "Especially as he is in the same boat as the rest of you."

Everyone went quiet again after the head nurses' last statement.

At the end of the meal, Tifa said that she had an announcement to make.

"Alright, so you all know Aqua." She gestured towards the blue haired girl who smiled sheepishly, "Well, after 2 years hard work, I am happy to announce that she has been discharged!"

There was a scattering of polite applause, and Axel made a 'whoop' sound.

"So we'll be having her leaving party tonight, at dinner, as she'll be leaving in the morning."

* * *

Roxas noted that a couple of people, Axel included looked upset after Tifa had finished speaking, and he asked the redhead about it while they sat outside smoking, after the meal. Axel had managed to convince Cloud to leave them alone, again.

"Are you and Aqua close or something?"

"What like anorexia buddies?" Axel laughed, while Roxas flinched at the redhead's bluntness, "No, it's just…leaving parties mean cake."

"Oh…" Roxas didn't know what else to say. The two boys lapsed into a slightly awkward silence.

"You seem a bit…off today." Axel said eventually, stubbing out the end of his cigarette on the ground next to his seat.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, you just seem like there's something bothering you, that's all."

Roxas stretched out his sore arms, "I spoke to my brother yesterday. I'm just feeling a little homesick, I guess…"

Axel nodded, and they sat in silence again until Cloud appeared in the doorway, telling them that it was about time they came inside.

* * *

Roxas could hear the commotion as soon as he, Axel and Cloud had made through the game room and into the corridor. It was like déjà vu from before lunch, a crowd had gathered round again, as Tifa was trying to reason with the newcomers' door.

Although this time, there was a tray of untouched food on the floor by the head nurse's feet.

"Marluxia, this is getting ridiculous. If you don't come out now I will not hesitate to break this door down. You have no choice in the fact that you have to stay here, so how will staying here without a bedroom door benefit you?"

"I am not staying here, you can't make me!" The muffled voice yelled from inside the room.

"I'm afraid I can, and I will. You are just embarrassing yourself now, you've attracted quite an audience." Tifa said; her voice remaining calm, but loud enough so the newcomer could hear her.

All sound in the room ceased for a second, before Marluxia shouted again, "You can all fuck off, your parents should have drowned you at birth."

"Marluxia!" Tifa exclaimed, her calm demeanour snapping, "Right, Cloud, fetch me a screwdriver. I'm taking the door down."

The student nurse scurried towards the office as Marluxia continued his rant, "You're all disgusting! Just go and break your mirrors and use the shards to slit your own throats or whatever it is you sick bastards like to do to yourselves!"

Naminé ran off at that point, pushing past Roxas and Axel to get to her own room.

"Naminé!" Roxas called after her, but she just shook her head as she rounded the corner.

"Everyone, go back to your rooms, and don't come out until dinner!" Tifa roared, and everyone was so shocked by the fact that she raised her voice; they did exactly as they were told.

* * *

"So, Aqua, We'll miss you a lot, but I hope we never see you again." Tifa said, toasting the blue haired girl, as everyone laughed. Cloud wasn't at the meal, and Roxas assumed it was because he was with the newcomer.

"Yeah, I'd rather not come back here. No offence." Aqua added, glancing round at the other teens, grinning.

At that moment, Tifa started handing out slices of cake. Even though Kairi, Axel and Zexion's slices were about half the size of everyone else's they stared down at their plates with identical looks of dread.

For the first time since arriving at Radiant Garden, Roxas felt a pang in his chest for them. He had never stopped to wonder what it must be like when even eating a tiny piece of cake was like the worst torture that could be inflicted on you, and how hard they must be battling with their own minds as they consumed each crumb.

"Roxas," Tifa's voice broke him out of his thoughts, "I'm not going to weigh you or anything as you just ate, so the reading wouldn't be accurate, but I'd like to get your blood tests done this evening."

Roxas paled slightly, it wasn't a question, Tifa wasn't expecting an answer, he _was _going to get his blood test done whether he liked it or not.

He sighed, "…fine, ok." Before following the head nurse to the medical room.

It was only when they arrived there that he remembered his arms, or, more specifically, the litter of new cuts that adorned his forearms.

He froze just inside the door, as Tifa busied herself with getting the equipment she needed.

"Ok, just take a seat on the table and we'll be done in no time." She said, looking up at Roxas and smiling kindly, "What is it? Afraid of needles?"

"N…No it's not that…I…" Roxas stammered, stepping back so his back was pressed against the door.

Tifa's smile faded, "What's the matter Roxas?" She stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You can't…I don't want you to see…"

"Roxas." Tifa breathed, bending slightly at the waist so she could look him in the eye, "I've worked here for ten years, and I have seen things that nobody should ever have to see, and heard stories about kid's lives that have regularly broken my heart. You are here to get better, just _being here _is a massive step towards your recovery, and I, in no way, expect you to not slip up occasionally. You can't show me anything that will shock me, so please, honey roll up your sleeves, let's get the blood test over with, and get you some bandages and antiseptic so you don't get an infection."

"…Thank-you." Roxas whispered.

* * *

After stepping out of the medical room, Roxas noticed Naminé standing in the doorway of her room on the girl's side. He went over to stand next to her, before he noticed what she was looking at.

The room that he'd been placed in when he first arrived now had no door, and Cloud was sitting on a plastic chair just inside the doorway, while a boy was sitting on the bed, his knees drawn up to his chest, his arms crossed over his knees and his face buried in his arms. He looked like he'd be quite tall, and he had pale pink hair that was currently scraped back into a ponytail at the base of his neck.

"I don't think he meant what he said." Roxas whispered to Naminé, and she shook her head.

"No. He was just terrified. We all were when we first came, right?" She whispered back.

Roxas thought back to the day he arrived, and felt his face heat up in embarrassment. Not only had he screamed himself hoarse, he'd trashed the room, and he knew that everyone would have heard him too.

He bid Naminé goodnight and made his way back to his pink bedroom, before spending the night staring at the ceiling.

* * *

**A/N- Poor...everyone...:( **

**The song, by the way, is 'Where is my mind' by The Pixies. That song has...a special significance for me...and I've just realised that saying that makes me sound crazy.  
**

**Ah well.  
**

**your friendly neighbourhood crackpot,  
**

**~Ryu  
**


	5. Day Five

**A/N- Today and old lady blanked me when I said that boys could learn to sew as well as girls. She then proceeded to look me up and down and ask me if I was a youth worker, in a sarcastic tone. (On Tuesdays the club is for under 12's...I am 5 foot 8 and 21 years old...yes, dear, I work here...) Then when I was making sure a child didn't stab themselves in the eye with a needle, she shoved me out of the way.**

**I consider myself to be a pretty peaceful person  
**

**I have never been more tempted to HIT A BITCH.  
**

***breathe*  
**

**Just thought I'd share that nugget of my day with y'all. ^^**

* * *

It's hard to answer the question "What's wrong?" when nothing's right

* * *

"Roxas?"

Roxas groaned, turning over and pulling his duvet up over his head. It was summer; he shouldn't have to be woken up in the morning.

"Roxas, get up, you're already late for breakfast."

"I…dun' mind, not hun…" He murmured, still fighting the urge to wake up.

"Roxas, honey, wake up."

Becoming suddenly aware of his surroundings, Roxas bolted upright, almost head-butting Tifa in the process.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep last night…" He mumbled his apology, climbing out of bed.

"That's alright, just make sure you're down there within five minutes, you need to take your meds."

Tifa swept out of the room, and Roxas felt the guilt creeping up his spine. The head nurse had been so kind to him yesterday when she'd cleaned up his cuts. She didn't judge him at all; could he tell her that he hadn't been taking his tablets?

The thing was, he was so embarrassed that he couldn't physically swallow them, but what if they would actually help?

He showered and dressed as quickly as he could and made his way to the dining room. He decided that the medication issue would have to wait; he had other things to worry about.

His mother was visiting.

* * *

Radiant Garden was a flurry of activity as everyone prepared for visits. Roxas spent a couple of hours after breakfast tidying his room, putting his clothes away properly and making his bed. He waited, sitting on the edge of his bed, feeling more nervous than he should have felt. Maybe…maybe if his mother saw he was doing well, she could take him home.

He just wanted to go home.

His door was open and he could just about see people coming in, and one person going out.

He didn't go to say goodbye to Aqua, he didn't get to know the blue haired girl in the short time he'd been at Radiant Garden, she bid Axel and Zexion quite a tearful farewell, and she even hugged Kairi, who she must have known for the grand total of two days.

Just after Aqua left, the door opened, and Roxas' mother appeared, a large carrier bag in her hand, and he stood, walking over to greet her, but she was holding the door open, talking to someone who Roxas couldn't see yet.

"Hi Rox." Ventus greeted awkwardly, carrying a guitar case on his back, "I brought your bass."

* * *

"It's…pink." Ventus said, looking round the room, before sitting heavily down on Roxas' bed, messing up the sheets he's spent ages wrestling with to get neat.

"Uh, yeah Tifa said that it's because this side used to be the girl's side…and the rooms haven't been repainted yet."

"Tifa's the hot nurse that's talking to mum, right?" Ventus said, nodding his head towards their mother, who was talking to Tifa just outside the room, undoubtedly about Roxas' progress, or lack thereof… so much for his 'seeming happy equals going home' plan.

"Eww, dude." Roxas sighed, "You can't call her hot…"

"Why not? She is…" Ventus said, before rummaging in his pocket, "Oh, and, here."

He passed Roxas two packets of cigarettes, "Mum refused to bring you some, said that being here would be a good opportunity to quit, but I'm nice, so."

"Thanks." Roxas took the packets and put them in the bottom drawer in his nightstand, "I only managed to bring half a pack with me and I've only got one left now…"

"No problem."

They sat in companionable silence for a while, and Roxas started to realise how much he liked his little brother's company, and he felt guilty that he'd wallowed in his own selfishness for so long and neglected him.

Just then his mother stepped into the room, placed the carrier bag at her feet and opened her arms wide, and Roxas scurried over and almost got his ribs broken from the sheer force of her hug.

She sighed deeply and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"It's pink in here."

* * *

"We only have this morning to visit," His mother said, "because Tifa said that visitors aren't allowed to have meals with you guys because of…well…"

"The kids with anorexia, right. You can say it mum." Roxas replied, feeling a little annoyed but not quite sure why.

"Have you made any friends?"

"Not…not really, I mean, Naminé is ok…she's a small blonde girl…and Axel and Zexion are the guys who I'm in the band with."

"You look thin…"

"Probably from stress." Roxas shrugged.

Silence.

"Olette said she'd call you…I haven't told her anything, I thought you should. She's a lovely girl." His mother said the last part in an almost dreamy voice.

Roxas and Ventus exchanged glances.

"Hey, Ven, do you want to play pool for a bit? There's a table in the game room…" Roxas said quickly.

"Sure, why not?" His brother replied, and they hurried out of the bedroom, leaving their mother to call out after them that it was her visiting time too.

* * *

Once they'd arrived in the game room, Roxas breathed out heavily, "Fuck, I thought she was going to start going on about how I should marry Olette or something."

"That's why you should tell her that you prefer sausage to taco…or she'll start setting you up with her friend's daughters or something."

Roxas looked down at the ground, "That's a horrible way of putting it…" He muttered, every shred of happiness that had built up since his family arrived had vanished in that instant.

"Is that why you…you do it?" Ventus asked in a tiny voice, "Is that why you wanted to die?"

Roxas snapped his head up; his brother was shifting his weight from one foot to the other awkwardly, with his eyes fixed on Roxas' wrist, the one covered with his checked wristband.

The older blonde subconsciously pulled the sleeves of his black hoodie down further over his hands, "Can we not talk about this?"

A breeze rolled in just at that moment, and Roxas noticed that the patio door was open, and he could see Axel sitting outside, cigarette in hand, with headphones on his head. He panicked for a second, had the redhead heard any of their conversation? Probably not if he was listening to music…but still…

"Fine, Roxas. We'll not talk about it. You can just rot in here, and mum can carry on crying every night." Ventus spat, storming back to, Roxas assumed, his room to find their mother. He didn't care, they could just leave. It didn't matter.

He huffed and stormed outside, slamming himself down onto a plastic chair next to Axel, who merely looked at him out of the corner of his eye, with a tiny amused smirk.

"You heard everything didn't you?" Roxas asked monotonously, looking out across the small garden instead of looking at the redhead.

"I'm sorry, but the sausage and taco thing? Priceless." Axel said, laughing.

"Shut the fuck up. So now you know I'm a queer I guess you won't want to talk to me anymore in case you might catch it or something." Roxas spat bitterly, crossing his arms.

"Whoa, why would you think that? It's not a disease you know."

"No but it's just another thing to add to all of my flaws." He sighed, "I knew he hated me…"

"If he hated you that much why did he visit? He wouldn't bother unless he really cared about you, trust me." There was a hint of sadness in Axel's voice, and Roxas turned to look at him. He'd lowered the headphones to rest round his neck, and was looking at the ground with an unreadable expression.

"Didn't…didn't anyone visit you today?"

"Today…the last three years…" Axel shrugged, "Doesn't matter to me." He said, taking a long drag on his cigarette. He said it didn't matter but his face suggested otherwise.

"Don't your parents even come?"

"Foster parents. I guess they were just in it for the money, didn't want to have to deal with a fuck up like me…showed up semi-regularly for visits for the first year, then just decided I wasn't worth it, I guess."

"Fuck, Axel, I'm…"

"Don't say you're sorry," The redhead interrupted, "Everyone says they're sorry, but they don't mean it."

"I do mean it though…you seem like a great guy, Ax." Roxas said before he could stop himself, blushing deeply.

"…Go and find your brother."

* * *

Needless to say, the rest of visiting was extremely awkward. Roxas was relieved when Tifa came round to let them know that lunch was in ten minutes so they should say their goodbyes.

"Until next time then…" His mother said, obviously fighting tears.

Ventus ignored him.

Roxas felt a swell of panic rise in his chest just as they reached the front door, and he clutched his mother's arm.

"Please…please take me home with you."

"Roxas, don't start." She hissed.

"I'm not starting anything; please I'm fine, just take me home!" He begged, just as Cloud came over, Ventus had already slipped out of the building.

"Is everything alright, Roxas?" The student nurse asked, knowing full well that everything was not alright.

"Roxas, let go of me…that hurts." His mother was trying to loosen his grip on her arm, "You are just embarrassing yourself."

Cloud rested a hand on Roxas' shoulder, "Look Roxas, acting like this won't get you anywhere, just calm down, and let go." He said softly, and Roxas reluctantly stepped back, turning on his heel and running into his room, slamming the door behind him, kicking the carrier bag his mum had brought with all his might, its contents scattering in different directions.

"I hate you, you fucking bitch, I hate you for leaving me here!" He screamed, dropping to his knees and clutching his hair, just as Cloud burst into his room, squatting down beside him.

"Hey, come on, it's alright." The older blonde soothed, "No-one wants to be here, no-one should be here…but you'll be out before you know it, I promise."

A loud sob escaped Roxas, "I wish it had worked…" He muttered.

He heard the door open, and footsteps, before Tifa spoke, "What's going on in here?"

Cloud looked up, "I think Roxas needs to be put on watch."

Tifa let out a small sigh, before she too crouched beside the blonde, "Roxas, honey, I'm putting you on suicide watch. That means either Cloud or myself will keep a close eye on you for the rest of the day, and one of the night staff will be posted outside your room tonight, just to make sure you're safe."

* * *

**A/N- Sorry for the kind of abrupt ending...I was having trouble with this one.**

**So now it has been confirmed. Roxas is a fruit.  
**

**And we love him for it.  
**

**Review?  
**

**~Ryu  
**


	6. Day Six

**A/N- Thanks to all of you who are reading this story :) reading your reviews really brightens up my day, because I'm a sad, lonely old woman.**

***sigh* feelings...**

* * *

They say bad memories cause the most pain, when it's actually the good ones that drive you insane

* * *

Roxas groaned as he lay on his back, throwing an arm over his eyes. He knew he had to get up any second, but he hadn't slept at all. Having someone sit just outside his bedroom door all night made him too on-edge to sleep.

He eventually managed to get up and drag himself to breakfast, where the mood was particularly sullen, especially since the excitement of having visitors the day before.

As Tifa handed out the daily medication, she leaned down beside Roxas and told him that he wasn't on suicide watch anymore, they were just taking precautions last night because of his obvious distress, and his history had to be taken into account.

"Sure, I get it…" Roxas murmured back, slipping his pill into his pocket when he was sure nobody was watching.

"You guys are free to do whatever this morning." Tifa announced, "Selphie isn't in today."

Roxas couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, he was kind of looking forward to bringing his bass up to the schoolroom and showing Axel and Zexion what he could do.

"Except, you three, of course." Tifa continued, looking over at Axel, Zexion and Kairi, "You guys have to sit with me in the lounge for an hour, ok?"

* * *

After the meal, Roxas wandered slowly back to his room. He wasn't sure what he could do, and considered taking his sketchbook out into the small garden; he could do with a smoke anyway.

On his way back towards the games room, he noticed Demyx standing part way between the dining room and where the bedrooms were located. The taller blonde seemed on edge, he was frowning deeply and muttering.

"No, that's not going to work, but I did it before…"

"Hey…uh…Demyx?" Roxas asked, "Are you ok?"

The sandy blonde's head snapped up and he grinned sheepishly at Roxas, "Um…don't think I'm crazy or anything, but I know there are exactly 81 steps from the kitchen to my room…or at least, there were before… there has to be 81." His brow furrowed.

"Why 81?"

Demyx looked at Roxas with an 'are you serious?' expression before replying, "Because 81 is 9 times 9." Like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Roxas just muttered a quick, "ok" before heading off to his original destination, feeling a little out of the loop with Demyx. He made a mental note to ask Axel or Naminé about the sandy blonde later.

* * *

"Hey…" A voice snapped Roxas out of his thoughts, and he looked up from his drawing as Axel sat down beside him on the sun-drenched grass.

"Hi." The blonde replied, rubbing an eye with his fist, "What time is it?"

"Like…ten."

"Seriously? I've been out here for 2 hours?"

"Er, apparently so?" Axel replied with a chuckle, "What'cha drawing anyway?" He leaned over slightly to get a better look at Roxas' sketch, "Your brother?"

Roxas was slightly taken aback, "Yeah, it is. Most people assume that they're self-portraits." He said, flicking through the pages of his sketchbook to show the redhead his other drawings of Ventus.

Axel shrugged, "I dunno, you guys do look similar, but I figured if you were going to draw a self-portrait it would look…sadder, I guess."

"Do I seem…sad?" Roxas asked, looking down at his pad.

"Yeah." Axel replied simply, "anyway, I'm not here to depress you, as fun as it has been, I actually came to ask you if you were up for an adventure!" He grinned wolfishly.

"Adventure?"

"Yeah, according to Tifa, I am now trusted to be let loose upon the world!"

"Come again?" Roxas asked, wondering if Tifa had fed everyone insanity pills that morning instead of their regular meds.

"I'm allowed out of Radiant Garden unsupervised today, and I asked if you could come, and Tifa said that it's ok, as long as we're back by 12."

"Out, as in…_out_ out?"

"Yes, fucking hell Roxas are you always this slow? Hurry up, and let's go. I seriously need to buy some cigarettes!"

* * *

"This…poses a problem." Axel said his hands in his hoodie pockets as they stood outside the only shop in the area.

A sign on the door read that cigarettes would not be sold to under 18's, and although that wasn't news to the two boys, the sign also said that the store owner was meticulous about checking ID.

"How did you get cigarettes before?" Roxas asked.

"Aqua got her parents to bring them for me…"

"Oh, right. Well…uh, you could just try and get some, I mean; you don't really look under 18."

Axel's eyes suddenly lit up, "Hey, I know! There's a University campus here right?"

* * *

Roxas wandered absentmindedly through the aisles of the small off-license, picking up miscellaneous items like cans of beans, looking at them briefly and placing them back on the shelf. The Indian man behind the counter watched with a bored expression.

"So, uh, Axel…have you finished that paper for Mr…Stephens yet?" The blonde asked, trying to avoid eye contact with the shopkeeper.

"You mean 'politics and the English language'? I started it but it's hard finding decent reference materials in that shitty Uni library." Axel replied with a shrug before approaching the counter, "Hey, could I get 20 Marlboro menthols, please?" He asked the shopkeeper with an air of nonchalance.

The man eyed him up and down briefly before nodding and grabbing the green packet from the shelf behind the till, before asking the redhead if he wanted anything else in a thick Indian accent.

"No, I'm all good." Axel replied, handing over his money while shooting Roxas a triumphant grin.

* * *

They walked for about 20 minutes until they came across a large field with a children's playground in the centre, all the while laughing about what had happened in the off-license.

"I think the guy just let you buy them because he wanted us out of his shop." Roxas said, gasping for air as he tried to fight off the giggles that were coming in waves. He hadn't laughed that much since…he didn't know when.

"Probably." Axel smirked, "Your acting is terrible by the way."

"Hey!" Roxas exclaimed, elbowing the redhead lightly as they stumbled into the play area, sitting on the roundabout, "Ok, yeah it was…"

"I haven't laughed this much since…I can't even remember when. Thanks Roxas." Axel said, echoing Roxas' thoughts, before he smiled warmly at the blonde, and Roxas felt something similar to butterflies flutter in his stomach for just a second.

"I was literally thinking the same thing."

They both reclined on the top of the roundabout, smoking in comfortable silence for a while, until Axel spoke in a hushed tone.

"Why did you instantly think I'd avoid you when I found out you were gay?" He asked.

Roxas shrugged, exhaling a lungful of smoke before replying, "I just…assumed you would, that's all."

"You must not think a lot of me then…"

"What? No, I…I like you a lot, Axel, even though we've known each other less than a week, I feel safe to say that you are a good friend."

"Good." Axel replied, smiling, before stubbing his cigarette butt out on one of the roundabout's railings, "I would say the same for you."

Roxas instinctivly leaned a fraction closer to Axel, feeling his eyes close partially, the taller boy doing the same.

Suddenly, the redhead's eyes widened as he looked at something over Roxas' shoulder.

"Spin." He said, pushing the roundabout with his foot until they were twirling round and round quickly.

"What? What is it?" Roxas asked, trying to focus on whatever had apparently freaked Axel out, but the world was flashing by too fast.

"There's a dog in here. Dogs shouldn't be allowed in the play area right? That's what the fence is for." Axel said, sounding panicked, "If we keep spinning it can't get on here."

Roxas was shocked; he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before finally managing to speak, "You're scared of dogs?"

"I'm fucking _terrified_ of them."

"Axel, please stop spinning, I'm serious, I'm going to throw up!" Roxas groaned, catching sight of the dog, it was a small white, fat thing, hardly terrifying, "Axel, it's a ratty little thing!"

"It still has teeth doesn't it?" Axel dug his foot into the dusty ground, causing the roundabout to slow, before scowling at the dog's owner, a grumpy looking overweight woman, "Hey, dogs aren't allowed in this part, can't you fucking read? There are signs everywhere!"

The woman glared at the two of them, before picking the small dog up and hurrying away, casting looks of horror over her shoulder as she went. The roundabout finally stopped.

Roxas lurched quickly towards the bushes at the edge of the field, which was difficult as he was so dizzy he couldn't walk in a straight line, and vomited.

"Sorry!" Axel called over to him, "it was that bitch's fault…and her owner."

"That is a fucking awful joke!" Roxas groaned before throwing up again.

* * *

"Sorry." Axel apologised for the eighth time, as they were sat back on the, thankfully now stationary, roundabout.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I didn't know anyone could be _that_ scared of dogs."

"I've been like that since I can remember. I don't really know why they terrify me so much…Aerith has tried her hardest to find out though." Axel said, with a slight hint of bitterness.

"Don't worry, I'm not trying to psycho-analyse you."

Axel chuckled, "It's weird having a conversation with someone who isn't."

"What so you're telling me Zexion is a wannabe psychiatrist?" Roxas said, nudging Axel slightly with a tiny smirk.

"No, not really." Axel smirked back, "Could you imagine it? He'd be as messed up as his patients. No, we don't even have proper conversations."

"Seriously? I thought you guys got along well, with the band and…everything…"

"What like anorexia buddies?" Axel joked, making Roxas blush, "We just…get along because we are stuck in Radiant Garden together, that's all. That's what everyone is like…you get on well enough on the inside, but then they leave with promises of staying in touch, but they never do, you just become a bad memory." He shrugged, trying to give of an air of nonchalance but Roxas could see that what he was saying bothered him.

"We'll keep in touch though right? No matter which of us gets out first, I promise."

Axel laughed and ruffled Roxas hair, which the blonde normally couldn't stand, but he let it slide that time, "Whatever you say. You'll forget me too though, you'll see."

"I don't think I'll be able to."

They just looked at each other for a moment; Axel's eyes seemed to be searching Roxas' face, and the blonde swallowed audibly, leaning forward a fraction, just as his phone vibrated in his pocket, snapping him out of his daze. He checked the screen, seeing that he'd received a text from Olette, before the time displayed in the top corner of the screen caught his attention.

"Fuck Axel it's like half 3!"

The redhead's eyes widened, "Oh, shit I'm in so much trouble!"

* * *

"You are in so much trouble, Axel." Tifa said sternly, her hands on her hips as she let the two panting boys back into the building, "You are going to have to make up not only the calories you missed from missing lunch, but also what you burned from running here."

"Oh, no Teef, I only ran back because we suddenly realised how late it was, come on, that's not fair, we didn't miss lunch on purpose either." The redhead exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, Axel, but you can't be trusted to leave the site now, until you've proven that you can in the future. I'm disappointed in you. You too, Roxas."

* * *

'_Roxas, what have you been up to? We dropped by your place and your brother wouldn't tell us where you are. Olette x'_

_...  
_

'_Hi, Rox, you didn't respond to my last text, I'm worried, what's wrong? Olette x'_

_...  
_

'_I'm going to assume that you don't want to talk to me…if I've done something to upset you, please let me know what it is so I can try and fix it. Olette x'_

_...  
_

'_Please text back Roxas…I miss you :( Olette x'_

Roxas was lying on his side, facing the pink wall, absentmindedly scratching his arm with his fingernails as he stared at the backlog of texts from Olette. He wanted to respond but didn't know what to tell her. The truth, he guessed, but how would he word it? He didn't want Hayner thinking he was weak…

He sighed deeply and scrolled through his contacts list, pressing the call button before he had chance to chicken out. The phone rand twice before Olette picked up.

"Oh my God, Roxas! You've disappeared for almost a week! Where are you?" The brunette sounded out of her mind with worry and it caused guilt to overwhelm him.

"I…I'm so fucking sorry, 'Lette…" He choked out, a lump in his throat, "I'm in a…a…sorry it's hard to find the best way to tell you…"

"It's ok, honey, just take your time, I've got all the time in the world." Olette soothed, "but, you are freaking me out a little bit…"

"I've been sectioned." He whispered, and the other line was silent except for Olette's breathing, so he wondered for a second if she'd heard him or not, and was just about to repeat himself when she spoke.

"Sectioned, as in, hospitalised involuntarily?" She asked.

"Yes… I tried to kill myself, 'Lette and I'm so fucking sorry, I'm so sorry and you are such a good fucking friend and I'm selfish and stupid…" A sob escaped him as he covered his mouth with his hand and drew his knees up to his chest so he was lying in the foetal position.

"Oh, God…" Olette groaned, "Oh my God, Roxas…I'm sorry that you felt like you needed to do something that drastic…I should have known! You've not been yourself for so long, and then you missed that huge amount of school about six months ago, Hayner said you were probably being a drama queen over the flu or something…and when you came back you were like a zombie…" She gasped, "That was when you did it…" It was almost as though she was speaking to herself, and Roxas could hear her crying, but a bubble of anger was welling up in his chest at the thought of Hayner's 'drama queen' comment.

"Why would you want to die, Roxas?" Olette whispered, sniffing.

"Ask Hayner." He spat before hanging up, throwing his phone across the bed and digging his nails so hard into his arm that he drew blood, ignoring the ringing of the small device until he fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N- Is it just me or has the word 'Olette' lost all meaning? XD  
**

**Also, not one, but TWO cockblocks? *shot*  
**

**err...I should probably mention that 'Politics and the English language' is an essay by George Orwell from 1946 "criticising ugly and innacurate contempory written English" (He would hate me then) and if you don't know who George Orwell is, go and read '1984' now. Go!  
**

**~Ryu  
**


	7. Day Seven

**A/N- A short but sweet chapter :) Apologies for the erratic updating. I do try and get out a chapter a week, but...yeah. ^^;**

* * *

Knowing how it feels to be heartbroken without actually having been loved in return

* * *

Roxas arrived late to breakfast again, after waking up from a fitful sleep to find he had literally gouged lumps out of his arm with his own fingernails. It took a while to clean up the drying blood on his skin and sheets.

When he skidded into the room, Tifa tutted, but didn't say anything as she placed his pill in front of him. Cloud was talking quietly to Axel who was sitting back in his seat with his arms folded. Roxas couldn't hear what the blonde was saying, but he could guess what was going on. Axel's bowl was still full, as was his cup of milk and his orange juice, and he had an angry, determined expression on his face.

"Axel, you know the deal, you have to make up the calories you missed yesterday." Tifa said sternly from where she was standing at the opposite end of the long table, between Marluxia and Demyx.

Roxas winced. He knew that it would be hard for Axel, and it was partly his fault that the redhead was in this situation.

Axel just scowled and sunk down further in his seat, Cloud was still murmuring quietly.

Suddenly the redhead shoved his hand into the bowl of dry cornflakes and threw them up in the air, where they scattered around him like confetti.

"Axel!" Cloud and Tifa exclaimed in unison, the head nurse making her way round to the head of the table.

Then, Axel picked up the cups of milk and juice in each hand and poured them out over the table top. The liquids immediately began to curdle, the sight made Roxas' stomach turn, and he wasn't the only one, cries of disgust rang out among everyone in the room, and Marluxia ran out, a hand covering his mouth.

"Everyone leave please." Tifa asked, firmly but calmly, and they all began to file out, Zexion was smirking, everyone else still looked nauseated, Roxas lingered behind, waiting for everyone else to leave the room.

"Yeah that's right, send them away from the fucking freak show, and protect their innocent eyes." Axel drawled, shooting Tifa a dark glare.

"You will clean this up; all you've succeeded in doing is wasting food. I'm going to get you another breakfast, and you will eat it, even if it takes all day. Then the calories you miss will just pile on top of each other, so your meals will get bigger and bigger." The head nurse said, pointing at the curdled mess on the table.

"What a waste!" Axel exclaimed mock-dramatically, "I wasted the milk that Cloudy had gone through the trouble of squeezing out…" He then scooped up a handful of the milk and juice combination and threw it towards the student nurse, who dodged it expertly, and it landed on the floor behind him with a wet splat.

"Axel. You just attempted to assault one of my staff." Tifa stated, strictly, "I won't tolerate this behaviour."

"Assault! It was fucking _liquid_. Is he that much of a fucking pansy?" Axel replied, laughing, "Poor Cloudy-cow. Faggot." He scowled as Tifa marched beside him and placed a hand on his elbow, "What are you gonna do, Teef? Call my parents?" He cackled.

"Solitary confinement, now!" Tifa gripped the redhead's elbow and pulled him to his feet with little effort, dragging him past Roxas, down the hall and into a side room that contained only a chair, "You will stay in here until, one, you have made up your calories. Two, you have apologised to Cloud, and three, when I deem you of sound enough mind to be around the others." She counted off on her fingers, scowling at Axel before storming out and slamming the door behind her, clicking the latch and making her way back to the kitchen, ignoring Axel's screeches as they rang out from the confinement room.

"None of us are of fucking _sound mind _Teef, that's why we're in this shit hole!"

* * *

"I…I phoned Olette." Roxas whispered, once he was settled in Aerith's office, after yet again declining the therapist's offer of tea, "Told her where I was, and…what I've done…"

"Don't feel bad about it, Roxas, this is excellent progress." Aerith smiled.

The blonde shook his head, averting his eyes to stare at the ground. He felt his face heat up and it was taking all of his willpower not to start crying.

"Did you cut?" Aerith asked softly, sighing a little when Roxas nodded, his eyes still fixed on the floor, "Well, how did she take it?"

"I think she felt guilty that she hadn't realised anything sooner." Roxas wasn't going to mention that he's snapped at Olette to ask Hayner why he had tried to kill himself.

"A natural response." Aerith nodded, "I am concerned that you are still cutting, Roxas, and I'd like to try something with you…" She turned in her seat and reached over to her desk, picking up a small blue spiral-bound notebook and handing it to Roxas, "I would like you to start keeping a journal. You can write whatever you want in it, no one is ever going to read it, just, when you feel upset, or angry, and you feel like you need to cut, just write down whatever's bothering you, and see if that helps."

Roxas nodded, staring down at the book for a second.

"How did things go when your family visited?" Aerith asked softly, moving the conversation along. Roxas' grip on the notebook tightened and he shrugged, not looking up. A couple of tears fell onto the cover of the book, and he hoped that Aerith hadn't noticed.

"Did they bring you anything?"

Shrug.

"Are you not going to talk to me now, Roxas?"

Shrug.

They sat in silence for a while before Aerith told him he could go, and he flew out of the room without looking at her once.

"Remember, write in the journal Roxas!" She called after him just as the door swung closed between them.

* * *

After a lunch that involved Roxas having to be forced out of his room by Tifa, only to sit and push his food round his plate, he hurried out of the dining room, intent on burying himself under his duvet and wallow for the rest of the day.

As he walked down the corridor, however, a voice called out his name.

"Roxas?"

Axel was leaning out of a doorway, beckoning the blonde over. Roxas sighed and followed the redhead into the room, who sat under the barred window, his long, impossibly thin legs stretched out in front of him. There was a plate of untouched food on a tray in the corner.

Axel patted the carpet beside him, and Roxas sat down, staring at his hands that were folded in his lap.

"Have you noticed that all the curtain rails, on the windows and in the showers, plus the tops of doorframes and wardrobes, are held on with magnets?" Axel said, leaning his head back, "so if too much weight gets put on them…they fall off…"

"Are you seriously talking to me about…about hanging yourself…?" Roxas muttered, and he sniffed, a tear dripping onto the back of his hand.

"No, I'm saying you can't."

"Why?"

Silence.

"I'm sorry…about what I said to Cloud earlier."

"Shouldn't you be apologising to him?" Roxas said, more tears building up in his eyes, despite him willing them away with every fibre of his being.

"No I mean…"

"That you called him a faggot?" Roxas snapped, sounding angrier than he meant to, "It's no big deal, it's just a word, it's not like I haven't been called it before or anything."

"Your brother said that to you?"

"What? No, not Ven, he's always been ok with it, I guess."

"I thought he was the only one who knew?" Axel asked, and Roxas looked up, swallowing.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter, because the person who did that was the person who made you feel so badly about yourself that you…" Axel snarled.

"That I slit my fucking wrist, Axel?" Roxas interrupted, "Why do you even care, you're so convinced that I'm just going to leave and you're never going to see or hear from me again. Why don't you try to get better, and leave, maybe we can leave together, and we can buy cigarettes and hang out without having to worry about being back on time, and you won't have to worry about stupid fucking calories?"

His rant was cut off by Axel's lips pressing firmly against his own, and against his better judgment, he let his eyes slide closed as he responded to the kiss.

Roxas' hand trailed from his side to rest lightly on Axel's sharp hip, and as soon as his fingertips ghosted over the area, Axel jerked away from the touch, bringing an end to the chaste kiss.

"You…you should leave before Tifa or Cloud finds you in here…" The redhead mumbled, turning away from Roxas, his face flushed.

The blonde swallowed, and stood up, heading over to the door, a heavy feeling building in his chest.

"I like you Roxas." Axel whispered, "A lot."

Roxas walked out of the room and closed the door without looking back.

* * *

**A/N- Seems Roxas likes to get upset and storm out of rooms in this chapter XD **

**Please review, I like reading whatever you guys have to say ^^  
**

**~Ryu  
**


	8. Day Eight

**A/N- A quick message to Axel fangirl 8484, as I couldn't reply to your anonymous review, I'll reply here. Thanks for liking the story :D I'm sorry the update is late, I have been swamped with life at the moment ^^' **  
**As for Demyx's deal, you'll find out more as the story goes on :D I'm not quite sure how many chapters this fic is going to be, but I'm planning on making it quite long.  
**

**erm...  
**

**Oh, also, I'll try and get the next chapter up as quick as I can :)**

**Those of you who have reviewed/messaged me recently, I will reply once I get a spare moment XD**

* * *

Golden

* * *

Axel's favourite person in the whole wide world was his Grandfather.

The man was always smiling, and regaling his Grandson with stories of the war, and giving him sweets.

Their favourite book to read together was Peter Pan by J.M Barrie. Axel must have known the story by heart by the time he was eight, but also at that time, his Grandfather was starting to forget parts that he used to be able to recite from memory.

When Axel was ten, a lady visited the house, one of the teachers at school had contacted her, she said, because they were concerned about his home life. Sure, his Grandfather had been a bit forgetful recently, but it was nothing to be concerned about.

By the time he'd turned eleven, Axel was placed into foster care, and his Granddad was in an old people's home. He'd only visited the man once, and he'd called him 'Reno', Axel's father's name.

He never went back, and a couple of months later he found out his beloved Grandfather had passed away.

* * *

"Axel?" Aerith called his name softly, snapping him from his thoughts, "I know it's hard being new here, but, I would like you to talk to me."

Thirteen year old Axel glared defiantly at the therapist, he didn't want to be in this shit hole, didn't _need _to be there.

"No-one cares about me." He whispered eventually.

"I care about you, honey, I want to see you get better and leave here, I really do."

"Liar! No one fucking cares, they pretend they do but they all leave me!"

Golden hair and blue eyes, those endless blue eyes holding so much pain, soft lips against his own, and the taste of cigarettes. Blue hair and golden eyes, piercing, like they were seeing _inside_ him…

Axel woke up suddenly in a cold sweat, looking down at himself and seeing something that his body hadn't done for the longest time.

He flumped back against his pillow with a massive sigh, his hands covering his face, against his better judgement and everything he'd learned from mistakenly trusting people in the past…he'd fallen for Roxas.

* * *

Roxas was avoiding his eyes at the breakfast table. Tifa had allowed Axel to re-join the others after he solemnly apologised to Cloud for his behaviour the previous day. The redhead truly was sorry, he hated it when he got out of control; it was beyond embarrassing.

"Well done Axel!" Tifa exclaimed, placing his usual cup of different coloured pills in front of him and forcing him to tear his eyes away from the blonde.

"What?" He asked stupidly, not understanding what he'd done to earn the head nurses' praise.

"Clearing your plate without a fuss. I guess you learnt something from your confinement yesterday, huh?" Tifa replied, clapping a hand onto his shoulder and flashing him a grin before carrying on handing out meds.

Axel frowned down at his empty plate in confusion, had he really eaten everything while not paying attention? The idea mad his stomach churn uncomfortably.

"Up to the school room this morning, guys." Tifa addressed the whole table, "Except Zexion, Aerith wants to see you for a bit."

That was the moment Roxas made a show of wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

* * *

"Remember, Axel, sit still for an hour. I trust you." Selphie said sternly, before smiling and leaving Axel and Roxas alone in the 'band room'.

"Uh…I should probably wait until Zexion's back but I had an idea for a band name…" The redhead started awkwardly.

"Oh yeah?" Roxas' reply was hardly more than a whisper. He swallowed audibly.

"Recovery."

"That's…pretty awesome, actually." Roxas blushed a little.

It was scaring Axel that it was currently taking all of his willpower not to tackle the blonde to the floor and have his way with him. He pushed the thoughts aside, he couldn't do it again. Not after…

Saix.

The sudden remembrance of that name made Axel's stomach churn even more and he rushed from the room into the schoolroom's toilet, vomiting noisily, hot tears streaming down his cheeks.

* * *

"I didn't…" Axel sighed and leaned back on Aerith's purple loveseat, "I didn't _make myself _sick, I swear."

"That's not what I heard from Tifa and Selphie." Aerith replied, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm not lying."

"I would like to believe you Axel, but unfortunately you are known to…bend the truth."

"I'm not lying, for fucks sake."

"Language."

"I know, I know." Axel said, turning his face away from the therapist. "Do you…do you remember Saix?"

Aerith's eyes widened a fraction, "Yes I do. What makes you bring him up after all this time?"

"I had a weird dream last night and it reminded me of him, that's all."

"You seemed to be getting over him, especially since you've struck up a friendship with Roxas, you've seemed happier in yourself."

Axel shrugged.

"You're not having…sexual feelings for Roxas are you?" The therapist asked, and Axel choked on the breath he'd just taken.

"Quit making me sound like a fucking pervert or something!" He exclaimed, "I'm not some freak who'll just pounce on the first guy I lay eyes on."

"I'm not suggesting that in the slightest, Axel, but if there's a possibility that there could be a repeat in previous behaviour…"

"Previous…behaviour…" Axel dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Maybe you'll have to be put on watch."

"What, like, _rape _watch?" The redhead exclaimed, slamming his fists into the chair and glaring at Aerith indignantly, "Un-fucking-believable."

"Stop twisting my words, please. I'm just going to place you on watch for your own safety. I, personally, do not believe that you are capable of what Saix claimed you had done, but as there is no proof as to whether you did or did not assault him, I have to treat the case neutrally."

"Neutrally my ass." Axel spat, and Aerith excused him from her office with a wave of her hand and a sigh.

* * *

Axel had an old battered copy of Peter Pan in his room. It was one of the two belongings he had that were truly his own. The other was his Grandfather's gold watch that rested bundled inside a sock at the bottom of his underwear drawer. The book was the one his Grandfather read to him, all those years ago, he hadn't opened it since he'd been separated from the man, but he still recited parts to himself sometimes, and it held a special place in his heart.

Axel didn't want to grow up.

Growing up meant getting old, and forgetting.

'Live fast and die young' was his motto, but, he wouldn't call what he was doing 'living fast' more like, floating, passing through life, until the dying young part, which, was firmly in his sights and very much achievable.

"To die would be an awfully big adventure." He quoted under his breath, staring at the tattered black spine of the book.

* * *

Roxas avoided his gaze again, throughout lunch, and he wasn't able to speak with him in the afternoon because he had to stay in the dining room until he'd eaten everything. Dinner passed by, and when Axel was finally able to leave the table, Tifa told him that Cloud would be keeping an eye on him, as per Aerith's request.

"Can I…have five minutes to talk to Roxas, alone?" He asked.

"I'm not sure that would be such a good idea…" Tifa murmured, shooting a glance at Cloud.

"Come on, please? I said some things to him yesterday that I want to apologise for." He frowned, "It's not like I'd be able to do anything…y'know…in _five minutes_."

Tifa sighed and relaxed her shoulders, "Fine, ok, but Cloud will stay outside the door the whole time, and you'll talk in the solitary confinement room."

"Fine. Thank you."

* * *

When Roxas entered the room his eyes darted around nervously, probably from the memory of the two of them kissing in there yesterday.

"Alright, I'm just outside the door if you need me." Cloud said to the smaller blonde, before stepping out and shutting the door.

"Why is he treating you like…I dunno…a criminal or something?" Roxas asked quietly, laughing shakily. His eyes darted to the door before looking back at Axel.

"We'll…we'll get to that…" Axel replied, stepping forward. Roxas hesitated for a second but didn't move. The redhead was convinced he would step back, "I'm sorry for…kissing you…like that, then snapping at you…"

Roxas turned away, "Oh…"

"I don't regret it though, unless you do, in which case, I do too and we should forget the whole thing." Axel said hurriedly.

"I…don't, actually. Regret it, I mean." Roxas whispered, "but…I've been through some shit…and I'm not…"

"I understand, a lot has happened to me in that area too, so if you want to just stay friends, that's fine by me."

Roxas tried to fight a tiny smile that lit up his face.

"What?" Axel asked, his own smile growing.

"I dunno, there's something awkward and cute about you." The blonde said before instantly blushing a deep shade of scarlet.

"I could say the same about you. Is it bad that I kind of really badly want to kiss you right now?"

Roxas shook his head and they came together in a clash of lips, arms encircling each other for a moment, Roxas' tongue snaking past Axel's lips for a split second before they broke apart, two pairs of eyes snapping to the door to make sure it was still closed.

"I like you, Axel, a lot." Roxas whispered, repeating Axel's words from the day before.

Just then, Cloud opened the door, informing Axel that his five minutes were up.

"Have you guys made up?"

"It might take some time." Roxas said quietly, before heading out and sticking his tongue out at Axel behind the student nurses' back.

That night Axel dreamed of Blonde hair, blue eyes, soft lips and the taste of cigarettes again, but he was happier than he'd been in a long time.

* * *

**A/N- There you have it :D An Axel-centric chapter! Hope you liiiike ^^**

**Review? :D  
**

**~Ryu  
**

**xxx -kisses fo' you guys.  
**


	9. Day Nine

**A/N- What is this? A relatively fast update? Wahoo! :D **

**I'm in a good mood today guys! Might be the redbull...**

* * *

Getting personal**  
**

* * *

Roxas was tired. Beyond tired, he was exhausted. The only thing that was keeping him going through breakfast was the fact that Axel kept catching his eye and flashing him little smiles and winks. He couldn't help the light blush forming on his cheeks. It was weird, and quick, but he'd fallen for the redhead.

So much so, that he'd spent the entirety of last night drawing a detailed portrait of him in his sketchbook.

Tifa wasn't there that morning; Roxas figured it must be the head nurse's day off or something. Cloud was in his usual seat at the head of the table keeping a close eye on Axel, Zexion and Kairi, while a very short, young looking lilac haired nurse handed out the pots of medication.

The pot that was placed in front of Roxas contained two pills instead of his usual one, so he turned towards the nurse and informed her of the mistake quietly.

"No mistake. Two pills prescribed, from Aerith." She replied monotonously, in an accent Roxas couldn't place. She also pronounced 'Aerith', 'Aeris'.

"Meeting with Aerith, after eating." She continued, before moving along the table.

* * *

Roxas hesitated outside Aerith's office door for a couple of seconds, feeling a little guilty that he hadn't written anything in his journal yet. When he pushed open the door, however, any thoughts about anything were instantly wiped out of his mind when he saw the two figures sitting on the purple velvet loveseat.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" The question slipped from his mouth before he had a chance to stop it.

His mother looked suddenly appalled and Ventus sighed and turned to look out of the window at the clear blue summer sky.

"Language, Roxas." Aerith scolded lightly, "I invited your family here for a little chat."

"Like family therapy?"

"Yes, exactly."

"Fuck that." Roxas spat, turning and storming out of the room. He thought the one beneficial thing about being at Radiant Garden would be that he wouldn't have to go to family therapy. All Aerith needed to do now was bring in Kathy bitch-face and it would be Roxas' idea of Hell.

A hand caught onto his shoulder just before he got to the top of the stairs that lead down to the girl's side dorms, and he turned to face Aerith, her green eyes swimming with concern.

"Roxas, please try. The only way you're going to get through this is if you talk to the people who care about you the most." The therapist said softly.

Roxas sighed and nodded, allowing himself to be guided back into the warm office.

"I understand you've attended family sessions before?" Aerith asked the three of them, Roxas sitting very uncomfortably between his mum and brother on the loveseat.

They all nodded.

"Ok, well I want to try something a little different…mum, would you mind waiting outside for a bit? I'd like to talk to Roxas and Ven alone."

"Oh, ok." His mother said, confusedly, standing up and making her way over to the door.

"I'll come fetch you in a few minutes." Aerith said to her with a smile, and waited until the door had clicked shut behind her before speaking to the brothers.

"I just want to talk a little bit about you two." The therapist said, and the two blondes exchanged a glance, "how would you describe your relationship?"

They both shrugged.

"C'mon, whatever is said now stays between the three of us; I won't even say anything to the nurses or your mother, this is purely to help Roxas."

"We…we used to get on…" Ventus mumbled.

"Don't you get on now?"

"We had a fight…the other day when me and mum visited."

"What about?" Aerith asked, as Roxas shot a glare at his brother.

"A…about why he was here…I asked him if it was because he was g…"

"SHUT UP." Roxas snapped suddenly, making the other two jump, "Shut the fuck up Ven."

"No, Rox! If you won't say it, I will, 'cause then you'll be able to talk about it and get better and come home, because, believe it or not, I want you to come home! I miss you." Ventus said, his voice cracking a little at the end, "It's no fun without you…"

"I'm sorry, but how am I _fun_?" Roxas asked, turning to face Ventus, "I spend all my time holed up in my room, slicing my arms up, or in fucking therapy with fucking Kathy."

"Not always, sometimes, you're like yourself again when we play video games or go skateboarding…but then you see Hayner and it all starts again, like a cycle."

Roxas froze. Damn, was Ventus that perceptive? How could he possibly know about Hayner?

"Is this your friend Hayner that you mentioned to me before?" Aerith asked softly, and Roxas turned to her wide-eyed, he'd almost forgotten that she was there too.

The door clicked open.

"Sorry, I know you told me to wait outside but I heard yelling…" His mother whispered, looking from the therapist's calm demeanour to Ventus who looked on the verge of crying to Roxas who looked like he was ready to kill.

"I can't do this." Roxas said, "I really, really can't. Bringing them here will not help me in any way." He stood, "you know what? The only way I have any hope of getting better is if you keep them away from me."

"Roxas, you need your family around you for support, you can't do everything on your own." Aerith said, gesturing for the blonde to sit down again.

"Look where trying to cope on your own has got you." Ventus whispered, so quietly that Roxas almost didn't hear.

"What?" Roxas said abruptly, whirling round to glare at his brother.

"I said; look where trying to cope on your own has got you." Ventus repeated, louder this time, before taking a deep breath and standing.

"Ven. Shut up." Roxas said, panicked, "Do not say anything…please…"

"Roxas is gay." Ventus announced, and there were a few moments of shocked silence before Roxas lunged.

* * *

Cloud brought a tray of food into the solitary confinement room, where Roxas was sat on the floor, a scowl on his face and an ice-pack pressed over his right eye.

"Because you missed lunch." The student nurse said quietly, setting the tray down and sitting cross-legged opposite Roxas, "Tifa will be back tomorrow, and I'll have to inform her about what happened."

Roxas sighed, "Sorry…about that…" he muttered, gesturing to the purple bruise that was blossoming on the older blonde's jaw. Aerith had called Cloud to help separate the fighting brothers, and in turn, Roxas had backhanded him across the face, "I didn't mean to hit you."

"Not to worry, I'm tougher than I look." Cloud replied with a small smile.

"Why do you want to be a nurse, or more specifically, why a _mental health _nurse?" Roxas asked.

Cloud merely shrugged, "I like looking after people." He said simply, "Anyway, shouldn't you be apologising to your brother. You hurt him pretty badly."

Roxas got the feeling that he didn't mean 'hurt' just in the physical sense.

"I'm not the only one who needs to apologise, he…fuck…he _outed _me. He couldn't just wait for me to work up the guts to do it myself…I mean, I'd already told him. I trusted him with my biggest secret and he couldn't wait to just tell everybody." He sighed, turning his face away from Cloud.

"Go back to your room, and just…think about everything. Now that one of the biggest obstacles is out of the way, maybe you'll find it easier to talk to Aerith about why you ended up here." The older blonde said, with a tiny smile as he picked up the tray of food and handed it to Roxas, before leaving the room, glancing back for a second.

* * *

"Shall we try this again?" Aerith said, settling back into her chair, "Ok, so I guess inviting your family here this morning was an error of judgment on my part," Roxas snorted, "But I've learnt something valuable."

Roxas shifted his weight, trying to look anywhere other than at Aerith. His black eye throbbed painfully. Damn, Ventus could throw a punch.

"I know this must be a hard subject for you, but please bear with me."

"Fine, whatever."

"How long have you known that you were gay?"

Silence.

"Ok…why did you tell your brother but not your mum?"

"I…don't know. I thought I could trust him…I was wrong." Roxas spat, "I didn't want to disappoint her…more than I already have done. Look, how much of a screw-up could I possibly be? I cut…I tried to…kill myself…and to be _gay_ on top of all that? I couldn't fucking tell her."

Aerith tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "Who is Hayner?" She asked and Roxas froze.

"Hayner is my friend, who I told you about in our, like, third visit? He's the leader of our group, he's popular at school, all the girls like him…" Roxas shrugged.

"I know you aren't telling me everything, Roxas, whenever his name is mentioned you react badly."

Roxas clenched his fists, "I'll…I'll tell you. Just give me a second…"

Aerith nodded, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah…I give up. You win." The blonde sighed, "Just…promise me you won't judge me."

"I promise. You know, I hear a lot of things from some of my patients that shock me to my core, but, I never judge, because you are your own person, what you do is your own business, I'm just here to give you a little bit of guidance, and advice when you need it most."

Roxas took a deep breath, but his voice still shook, and his heartbeat accelerated, "Hayner…_was_ my friend…after I came out to Ven, I thought, 'Hey, that wasn't so bad, I can do this.' So I told Hayner."

Aerith stayed silent, and her expression was unreadable as she waited for Roxas to finish.

"The thing is, I'd had a crush on Hayner since I met him, when I was ten. I thought he reciprocated my feelings, it was too good to be true…I…I let him…" He swallowed, "I slept with him." He whispered, hanging his head, "A few days later, he cornered me when I was walking home and he had a group of guys with him and the beat the shit out of me."

"Thank you Roxas." Aerith said after a few moments of silence, "thank you for telling me. You can go now."

* * *

_The text simply read, 'Hey, meet me at the usual spot.' But it made Roxas' heart flutter. He quickly dashed over to his mirror, running his fingers through his hair a couple of times before straightening his clothes and sniffing his armpits. He was good to go._

_After confessing to Hayner and having the taller blonde admit that he liked him back was the best thing Roxas could have hoped for, he almost couldn't believe it. Then, to lose his virginity to the boy he'd had a crush on for six years was incredible. _

_He couldn't fight the smile from his face as he informed his mother that he was heading out for a bit and that he'd see her later. As he left the house, she remarked to Ventus that she'd never seen her oldest son this happy, even when he was a child._

"_Must be love." She mused, before turning back to the TV._

_Roxas had made it halfway down an alley that was the quickest route to the usual spot, where he, Hayner, Pence and Olette always hung out together, when he was roughly shoved against the slightly damp brick wall._

"_Hey!" He cried out, as the wind was knocked out of him, and a figure stood in front of him. It was a boy from school that Roxas vaguely recognised._

"_What the fuck do you think you're doing?" The blonde snarled, pushing off of the wall and standing in front of the boy, who was a lot taller than him._

_Two more guys appeared at that point, standing beside the original assailant, not saying anything but crossing their arms menacingly. Roxas could feel his heartbeat in his throat._

"_C'mon guys…" A familiar voice drawled, and Roxas felt suddenly relived, as Hayner pushed through the wall of bodies to stand directly in front of Roxas, his eyes glinted for a second, narrowed in the darkness of the alley._

_Roxas opened his mouth to express his relief, but Hayner spoke first._

"_You know the deal, this one's mine."_

"_What?" Roxas' eyes widened, and his stomach dropped._

"_Shut up, faggot." Hayner snapped, then he spat in the smaller boy's face._

"_H…Hayner? I thought we were…" Roxas stammered, wiping the spit from his face with his sleeve._

"_What? You thought I cared about you or something?" The taller blonde sneered, "How fucking pathetic." He laughed loudly, almost manically, and the three gorillas behind him chuckled, "You disgust me." He snarled leaning his face in close to Roxas'._

_Everything after that was a blur of kicks, pain and the taste of blood._

* * *

Roxas sighed, closing the small blue journal. That would do for now, he didn't want to relive any more just now.

He placed the notebook on top of his chest of drawers, before walking over to the bed and flopping onto it face-first. Tomorrow he'd ask Tifa if he could use the photocopier in the office, and borrow three envelopes.

He was going to copy the journal entry and send one each to Olette, Hayner and his mother.

* * *

**A/N- Dun dun duuuun! Oh my! We've finally found out what happened with Hayner. I feel bad 'cause I like Hayner. But someone has to be the bad guy.**

**Also, if you were wondering, yes, the new nurse is Fuu. She'll appear randomly every now and again when Tifa needs a day off ^^  
**

**Thank you to everyone who had reviewed and even just read this story, it means a lot :D  
**

**Don't hesitate to tell me what you think!  
**

**~Ryu!  
**


	10. Day Ten

**Okay, first of all, Sorry sorry sorry this is so late! *grovels* forgive me?**

**I've had an insane few weeks, with a dash of emotional drainage and a pinch of writers block.  
**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I love you guys more than I love coffee! Ok that's going a bit too far, but I love you a lot. For Serious.  
**

**And extra thanks to y'all who indulged me by asking me random questions, so here they are :D  
**

**Q-What was your first thought when you started KH2 and you're Roxas not Sora? Or did you already know what to** **expect? **

_A-Well,__ I'd actually played 358/2 days before starting KH2, so I already knew about Roxas and Orgy 13, but I was like 'Yay, Roxas! Wait, what's with your clothes?' XD The little challenges you have to do to get money for the train irritated me though._**  
**

**Q-What is your dream job?  
**

_A- Ack, that's a hard one XD um...It would have to be something cool and artistic, like a tattoo artist XD but when I was younger I always wanted to write novels so I guess becoming a successful writer would be amazing.  
_

**Q- Are you a boy or a girl?  
**

_A- Neither, I am a WOMAN *hair flip* XD I am of the female variety, although I am a bit manly most of the time...  
_

**Q- How did you get into Kingdom Hearts, or more impor****tantly, Yaoi?**_  
_

_A- Hmm...Kingdom Hearts was because my brother got a PS2 for his...*counts on fingers* 14th birthday (God I'm old) and I wanted to get him a game for it, thought KH looked cool, and I was the one who ended up playing it. Yaoi...I was browsing youtube, came across a video of junjou romantica, and the rest is history. :D  
_

**Q-What unusual things inspire you?  
**

_A- A newborn baby's cry, and the gentle caress of a butterfly's wing against my cheek...lol, I don't know. Nothing unsual inspires me really, I'm mostly inspired by music, and things that happen to me and people I know. I'm a bit boring in that respect._

* * *

'The greatest poverty is loneliness'-Mother Theresa

* * *

"Roxas, you need to get up, it's five minutes until breakfast."

"Photocopy…"

"Honey, get up."

Roxas sat up suddenly, causing Tifa to jump back a step.

"Tifa, can I use the photocopier?" He asked abruptly.

The head nurse furrowed her brow in confusion, "Sure, of course, but right now, you need to be at the table with everyone else."

* * *

Breakfast went by without incident, and Roxas asked Tifa about the two pills in his paper cup, and she confirmed that Aerith had indeed prescribed a stronger dose, as the small dose hadn't seemed to have any effect. The blonde felt a wave of guilt at that, but he couldn't reveal that he hadn't been taking the pills this whole time; it'd only make him look stupid.

He tipped them into his mouth, under his tongue, and took a gulp of water, and was preparing to leave when Tifa pulled him aside. Axel raised a brow as he was ushered out of the dining room by Cloud, along with the other residents.

"I still don't know what happened yesterday, but in about an hour you need to come with me for a meeting with Cloud and Aerith to discuss the incident, ok?" Tifa said firmly, placing a hand on Roxas' shoulder. He merely nodded.

"Right, so meet me outside the front door, we're going to the conference room which is the other side of reception."

* * *

Roxas practically ran towards the bathroom, grabbing a handful of paper towels to spit out the bitter lump of partially-dissolved tablets in his mouth. He shuddered and retched at the taste, shoving the tissue far down in the bin, before rinsing out his mouth.

"Urgh" He muttered to himself, as he wandered back towards his bedroom, stopping suddenly when he almost collided with something.

"Whoa, Roxas, watch it." Axel exclaimed, stepping back to avoid the collision.

"Shit, sorry." The blonde mumbled; a sour look on his face to match the taste in his mouth.

Axel shook a pack of cigarettes in front of the smaller boy, "Want to sit outside for a bit. Wash the taste of half dissolved tablets out with good old tobacco?"

"How do you know?"

Axel shrugged, "Let's just say I'm very observant."

* * *

The two boys lounged on the plastic chairs in the tiny garden, watching smoke spiral into the turquoise sky.

"So, you not taking the meds, is it some kind of silent protest?"

"What? No…don't laugh, ok?"

"Ok." Axel said, the hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

"Hey, come on, you're fighting a laugh and I haven't even said anything yet!" Roxas scowled, inhaling deeply.

"Ok, ok. I promise I won't laugh."

"I can't…I can't swallow tablets…"

Axel clamped his lips together but a tiny giggle escaped him. He slapped a hand over his mouth.

"You bastard!"

"I'm sorry! But that is quite funny, admit it." Axel chuckled, "Why didn't you just say something in the first place?"

"I don't know!" Roxas whined, sinking further into his seat, "I feel really fucking stupid now, thanks for that."

Axel pouted, "I'm sorry, I mean it. How can I make it up to you?"

Roxas shrugged.

A magpie hopped down from the fence to land directly in front of the two boys, pecking at the ground.

"One for sorrow." Roxas stated.

Axel hummed, just as three more magpies flew down from somewhere to join the first.

"Four…isn't that silver?" The redhead asked, stubbing out his cigarette against the ground.

"No, silver's five." Roxas replied, reciting the rhyme in his head, "Four is a boy."

"Sorrow, to do with a boy…" Axel murmured, and they both let out tandem sighs.

* * *

"Are you ready for this?" Tifa asked, as Roxas joined her in front of the double doors that lead to the reception area.

"Um, yes?"

"You have to be serious now, Roxas, this is an official hearing."

"Official hearing?" The blonde repeated, his heartbeat in his throat; "Is it that serious?"

"Apparently so. Let's go." Tifa replied, swiping her ID card to get through the door.

The receptionist's hair was still scraped back, Roxas noticed. It really did not suit her, and he felt the urge to tell her so.

She nodded at Tifa from behind her desk, buzzing them through another set of doors that Roxas hadn't noticed when he arrived at Radiant Garden.

"Thank you, Larxene." Tifa smiled, as she ushered Roxas through the door.

Larxene sounds like a type of medicine. She's working in the right place then…Roxas thought idly.

Through the door was a narrow hallway, with another door at the end, which had a shiny gold plaque on it that read 'Conference room 2', but as far as he could see, there wasn't a conference room 1.

Tifa knocked lightly before pushing the door open and guiding Roxas in before her. The room was bare apart from about ten padded desk chairs set in a circle. Cloud sat in one, and Aerith sat a couple of seats away from him, a clipboard resting on her knee. They both smiled at Roxas in greeting as Tifa closed the door with a soft click.

"Hello again, Roxas." Another voice said, and Roxas' gaze snapped in the direction of Kathy bitch-face, who was sitting on the opposite side of the circle to Cloud and Aerith.

"Fuck this shit." He spat, turning to come face to face with Tifa's chest.

"Come on Roxas, be reasonable." The head nurse said softly, "The quicker we get started, the quicker it'll be over. Now, take a seat."

Roxas was fuming. He kept his head down the entire time Aerith recounted what happened in her office with Ventus, he felt his cheeks heat up and he clenched his fists when she told the part about Ven outing him. Then, Cloud told his part of the story.

"He attacked a staff member?" Kathy asked, scribbling into a notepad that was balanced on her lap.

"Not purposely." Cloud admitted, "He just struck me by accident as I was separating him from his brother. He calmed down the second I got him into the solitary room."

"I already knew Roxas had violent tendencies as well as excessive use of foul language." Kathy said, causing Roxas' blood to boil, "But, have you considered that he might be a threat to other residents? Perhaps it would be in everyone's best interests if we transferred him to Hollow Bastion?" She asked Tifa, tucking a strand of bleached hair behind her ear.

"He's nowhere near that level…" The head nurse started before Kathy interrupted.

"He physically attacked a visitor; he has severe anger management issues, he attacked a nurse!"

"Not on purp…" Cloud tried to interject.

"From the updates I've received, he's trashed his room, verbally abused staff and visitors, and has even gone AWOL on one occasion."

That was it.

He couldn't take anymore.

"Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch!" He screeched before storming out of the room. He raced down the corridor, hitting the door release button before running through reception and outside, Tifa hot on his heels calling his name.

* * *

He had to hand it to Tifa, that woman had stamina. By the time Roxas had made it to the park he and Axel had hung out in, he was a panting mess, but she looked as though she hadn't broken a sweat.

Roxas sunk onto the grass, and only just noticed that he was crying.

"Roxas, you've just made everything worse by reacting like that you know?" The head nurse said, kneeling beside him. A few people stared at them.

"That bitch made everything sound worse than it actually is!" Roxas bawled, feeling instantly pathetic.

"I know, honey. Don't pay attention to what she says, ok? You won't have to go anywhere. The hearing was just for official purposes, but that doesn't excuse everything you've done. Think about it."

* * *

There was a light knock on Roxas' door, as he sat on the end of his bed with his back against the wall, his knees pulled up to his chest.

"Roxas, are you in here?" Axel asked softly as he pushed the door open, spotting the blonde.

Roxas just gave a sniff. He thought about telling the other boy to leave him alone, but truthfully, he didn't want him to leave.

Axel closed the door behind himself and sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, staring at the patch of pink above the door until Roxas finally spoke.

"What's Hollow Bastion?" He asked, his voice shaking a little.

"It's…it's like here, but for more dangerous people, people who are more likely to cause a lot of harm to themselves or others. Why do you ask?"

"Oh…erm…it was mentioned, in my meeting thing…"

"Holy shit, Roxas, you are nowhere near that bad."

"That's what Tifa said."

"There could be a weird sexual innuendo in this conversation."

"That's disgusting."

"It got you to smile though." Axel nudged the blonde lightly with his shoulder, smirking.

Roxas hummed in response, before resting his head on Axel's shoulder.

The redhead tensed a little before letting himself relax.

"Tifa stopped them from sending me to Hollow Bastion…" He said before he could stop himself, "That was a couple of years ago though."

There was a light knock at the door, and Roxas sat up straight before Cloud poked his head in.

"Come on, guys. Lunch."

* * *

"Axel, don't keep stopping, or you'll be here all day." Cloud's gentle nagging snapped Axel out of his thoughts and he looked away from the pile of chilli and rice on his plate to the student nurse, almost as if he was in a daze.

"What's the matter with you today? Are you feeling ok?" Cloud placed a hand on the redhead's forehead, checking if it felt hot, giving Kairi enough time to spit a mouthful of food down the front of her sweater.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Axel shrugged and picked up his fork, moving the food around on his plate a little before placing a miniscule amount in his mouth.

"Can I have everyone's attention?" Tifa spoke up, "We're having a new arrival this afternoon, well, I say new, one of our previous residents is coming back, so I thought it would be easier to gather you all in the lounge after lunch so I can introduce those of you who don't know her, as she doesn't need the tour."

* * *

Roxas and Axel sat beside each other on one of the sofas in the lounge, Roxas in the middle, with Naminé on his other side. Roxas noticed that the girl beside him kept shooting quick, nervous glances over in Marluxia's direction.

"Kairi keep still, please." Cloud said, breaking the awkward silence, the mahogany haired girl stopped jiggling her leg with a sigh.

Two voices grew steadily louder as they travelled down the hallway towards the room where everyone was gathered, one was recognisably Tifa, the other, high pitched and seemingly talking non-stop.

The door opened and Tifa said, "Everyone this is Yuffie."

A very short, _very _thin girl with pitch black hair that hung to her jaw smiled widely and waved as her eyes travelled over the occupants of the room, before she exclaimed loudly, "Holy shit, Axel! You're _still here_?"

* * *

Roxas exhaled an enormous lungful of smoke, feeling a tiny buzz from the nicotine, as Axel and Yuffie chattered away next to him.

"Yeah, well, I was in the running for the Olympics…but…old habits die hard, I guess." The girl said with a hint of sadness.

"That sucks."

"Aww, what sucks more is that you're still in this dump!" Yuffie cried, "I can't believe it, I'd thought you'd be a goner way before now, you were doing great when I left!"

Axel went red and looked at the ground, "Yeah…something…something went wrong, just after you left…" He coughed a little.

"I won't ask." Yuffie then peered round the redhead to look at Roxas, "Hey, sorry cutie, I hope you don't think we're ignoring you!"

Roxas just shook his head.

"Not the sociable type, then? What was it…Roxy?"

"Roxas." He corrected her, "No-one's called me Roxy since I was about seven."

"But it suits you! 'Cause it's cute, and so are you!" She replied in a sing-song voice, "So what are you in for, if you don't mind me asking? You obviously aren't from our neck of the woods," She gestured at herself and Axel, who was still staring at the floor, his cigarette burnt down to the filter, "Unless you are, and you're doing a good job, in which case, good on you!"

Roxas raised an eyebrow; obviously this girl was a talker.

"Ooh! No, I have a better idea, let me guess!" She said excitedly, and carried on before Roxas could protest, "Ok, not an eating disorder…um…not OCD, 'cause of your hair…" Roxas raised a hand to his hair automatically, "I know! You're a cutter, right?"

Roxas blushed and turned away.

"Aha! Bingo!" Yuffie cried and jumped up, doing a victory dance and humming to herself, just as Cloud came outside and told her to keep still.

* * *

Dinner was just as uneventful as breakfast, only now they had Yuffie's constant chatter as background music in the dining room.

After Axel's stationary period was over, the redhead found himself in Roxas' room again, the blonde's head on his shoulder much like before; only this time they were sitting on the floor, with their backs against the bed.

"Do you know Yuffie well, then?" Roxas asked, after staring at the wall for some time.

"As well as you can get to know someone in here I guess…She arrived at the same time as me and…as me. She left just before Zexion arrived."

"She said you were doing better before she left…"

"Yeah, I was…I was almost ready to leave…"

"You don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to." Roxas interjected, sensing the other boy's discomfort.

Axel relaxed a little, "I will eventually, I'm sure…I just need time. I want to tell you though, especially if we're…whatever we are."

"What are we?" Roxas whispered.

"I would say friends…but…I don't think friends kiss like that…"

"Let's not label it."

"Ok." Axel replied simply, and Roxas shuffled round so he was facing the taller boy, blushing lightly as they leaned in to press their lips together, the blonde parting his to let Axel's tongue past, and gripping the front of the redhead's too big hoodie.

A knock on the door caused them to spring apart instantly, and when Tifa opened the door, Roxas was standing by the window trying not to look suspicious.

"Hi guys." The head nurse greeted, "it's time to get to your own rooms, lights out in an hour. Roxas, you can use the copier now."

Axel flashed Roxas a small smile as he passed Tifa.

"Um, Tifa, do you have three envelopes? And some stamps."

"Sure, honey, I'll get some out for you while you're using the copier. Sending letters?"

Roxas nodded.

"That's good. It's good to keep in touch with people on the outside."

* * *

**'One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl and four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told~'**

**Just in case there was someone who didn't know what Roxas and Axel were going on about XD  
**

**I love Yuffie already :D  
**

**Thanks for reading~  
**

**Aishiteru~  
**

**~Ryu  
**


	11. Day Eleven

**A/N- Something I forgot to mention last time, I am now fully committed to the Kingdom Hearts fandom! (My latest tattoo is a paopu fruit) ^_^ yay!**

**And I re-watched all of Demyx time! Love it.  
**

**Jumpy chapter is jumpy.  
**

* * *

Three Faced

* * *

"So, yeah, there I was, running round the track, when all of a sudden these paramedics are waiting for me at the finish line, and my mum is crying and my therapist is just standing there like the stony faced asshole he is and I ended up back here." Yuffie finished her twenty minute non-stop babble finally, as Tifa told her to be quiet.

Roxas stared into the small paper cup, at the two pills just sitting there, until he looked up and caught Axel's eye, who gave him a tiny smile before turning back to his own breakfast. The blonde sighed and picked up one pill, pushing it right to the back of his throat and downing half a glass of water, trying not to choke and draw any attention to himself. He couldn't understand why taking tablets was so hard for him, when there were people like Zexion who swallow about five pills at once with no effort whatsoever.

* * *

Aerith smiled around at the four people around her, as she adjusted her skirt a little.

"Um, Aer? Why aren't we outside?" Axel asked, putting his hand up in the air as if he was a kid in school.

"Because, Axel, if we were to go outside, you boys would all light up, and I'm trying to force you to cut down your nicotine intake a little bit."

"…bitch…"

"Language, Axel, how many times to I have to tell you?" The therapist sighed. "Anyway, Yuffie, welcome back to the group."

Yuffie just gave the brunette a queasy smile, almost bent double in her seat. Roxas was confused by her apparent change in demeanour since any other time he'd been around her since her arrival.

"Ok, so does anyone have anything they want to talk about today?"

The only replies Aerith got were shrugs.

"Come on, guys, this is a support group. We need to support each other."

"No offence, Aer, but nobody wants to spout their problems in public." Axel replied, crossing his arms.

The therapist sighed, "I'm not going to get anything from any of you, am I?"

When the four of them shook their heads, Aerith told them all they could leave.

"Roxas, could I have a word? Just for a second." She asked, then waited for the last person to leave and closed the door before she spoke again, "I've heard from Cloud and Tifa that you've become quite close to Axel?"

The blonde nearly choked, "Um, well, w-we've just been hanging out a bit, that's all."

"Alright, I'm glad to hear that you're making friends, just…if…if anything happens that you're…uncomfortable with, let me know." Aerith said awkwardly, before dismissing him.

* * *

Roxas was quickly realising that his favourite pastime at Radiant Garden was sitting in the tiny garden with Axel, smoking and talking. It generally helped him feel better, lighter, and it was possibly more beneficial than his therapy sessions with Aerith.

"So…Yuffie seemed…different at the meeting." He said quietly, wondering how many times he was going to ask the redhead personal questions about the other patients.

"Her situation is kind of complicated…" Axel exhaled slowly, before carrying on, "She's fine with food, and can eat without any trouble, but she's obsessed with exercise, so after she eats she feels a need to burn off all the calories, and obviously she's not allowed to do that here."

"…right…" Roxas didn't know what to say, he thought that the only eating disorders anyone could get were anorexia and bulimia.

"Oh, and Aerith said something weird to me after the meeting. She said that Tifa and Cloud told her that we were friends and that I should tell her if you do anything that makes me uncomfortable…"

Axel's gaze snapped to him suddenly, and the redhead scowled, "She said _what?_" He snarled, grinding out his half-smoked cigarette on the ground, "What has she told you?"

Roxas leaned back, startled by the anger radiating from the other boy, "I…nothing, that's all she's said…what's going on?"

"Don't worry about it." Axel snapped, "I'm going inside." He stomped back into the building, leaving behind a confused and freaked out Roxas.

* * *

"Tifa!" The redhead yelled, storming through the corridor towards the lounge. The head nurse was sitting with Demyx and Marluxia on one of the sofas; all three of them looked up, startled, when Axel burst into the room.

"What the fuck have you and Aerith been telling Roxas?"

"Axel, what are you talking about?" Tifa replied calmly, standing up.

"You know exactly what I mean."

"I think we need to discuss this in private."

"Oh, what so you're ok with letting Roxas know every sordid little detail but not these two?" Axel seethed, "What a fucking hypocrite."

"Axel, come on. We'll discuss this calmly, like adults, in another room."

Tifa's notion of 'calmly, like adults' was blown out of the window as soon as Axel entered the small meeting room the head nurse had lead him to and kicked over a chair.

"Axel. Calm down. I'm going to fetch Aerith. Don't break anything while I'm gone." She shot him a warning look before disappearing. Axel sat heavily in the chair that he hadn't kicked and crossed his arms, sending the door a death glare until it opened again.

"You!" He growled, pointing at Aerith as she walked in with Tifa, "So much for all that patient confidentiality bullshit."

"What are you talking about, Axel?" She asked, as the two women remained standing by the door.

"You told Roxas to keep away from me didn't you?"

"No, of course not, I just told him that if he ever feels uncomfortable, to let me know." The therapist replied truthfully, not breaking eye contact with the redhead, "Which is fair enough."

"So you really don't trust me. You think because I talk to the guy, that I'd try and jump him at any given opportunity? Fuck you." Axel spat, "You know he was lying."

"I did tell you, Axel that we'd have to treat the case neutrally." Aerith said, and Tifa nodded.

"He was lying! He was lying so his precious _mother _would take him out of this shithole, fuck, I'd probably do it if I had the chance!" Axel stood suddenly, "but I can't, because I don't have anyone that gives two shits about me!"

The two women shared a sideways glance.

"Axel," Aerith said softly, "You've gone off topic. Try and calm down. I only warned Roxas as a precaution. The fact remains that you may, or may not, have assaulted Saix, we are leaning towards your side of the story, but we only have your word, and his, no solid proof, so it will forever remain a mystery."

"You still let that asshole leave though." Axel muttered darkly.

* * *

Roxas was in his room, after an hour of sitting outside, feeling confused. He wasn't sure what Aerith was trying to say to him, or what Axel had gotten so angry about.

He let out a sigh just as his door banged open.

"Are you scared of me?" Axel asked abruptly, stopping just in front of Roxas.

"Um…not usually but right now I'm a little wary of you…" the blonde replied, looking up from his position on the floor.

"Fuck, sorry." Axel dropped to sit cross-legged in front of Roxas, "I didn't mean to snap at you earlier." He said almost sheepishly.

"I have no idea what has been going on today."

"Yeah…sorry about that too, I'll tell you, I promise…just not now."

"I understand." Roxas replied with a tiny smile. He knew he had his own secrets that he was keeping from the redhead.

"I guess that's the problem with making friends in this place, everyone has way too many issues." Axel sighed, leaning forward so his head rested just under Roxas' chin.

The blonde swallowed, and shifted back a little so Axel would look up, before leaning forward and kissing him.

"I thought we weren't just friends." He whispered after they broke apart, his face flushed.

"I thought we weren't going to label it." Axel whispered back with a smirk, pressing his lips to the blonde's again.

Roxas reached around the other boy to bury his hands in his hair, while Axel wrapped his arms round Roxas' waist and pulled the smaller boy onto his lap. Their kiss quickly became heated, with tongues fighting for dominance and small bites to bottom lips.

Axel stopped suddenly, resting his head on Roxas' shoulder.

"I don't think I'm ready for this." He admitted.

Roxas hugged him, "I don't think I am either." He sighed and looked up before freezing, "Axel, the fucking door is open."

* * *

Roxas couldn't concentrate on his food, he kept glancing around the other people surrounding him, wondering if any of them might have walked past and seen him and Axel. Nobody seemed like they were acting any different than any other lunchtime, but he couldn't help thinking that someone must have seen them, and worrying about what would happen if they told any of the staff what they saw.

"Are you alright Roxas?"

The simple question made the blonde jump out of his skin, "Um, what, yeah, I'm ok…" He stumbled over his reply, picking up his sandwich, avoiding Cloud's eye.

The student nurse raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything else, and since Roxas was focusing all of his attention on his sandwich, he didn't see Yuffie flash Axel a knowing grin.

* * *

"I hate stationary period!" The small girl whined, flopping back into a seat in the lounge, "I want to run!"

"Come on Yuffie, you know you need to sit still." Cloud said sternly, taking a seat and keeping an eye on Yuffie, Axel, Zexion and Kairi.

"You know you are way too hot to be a nurse, right?" Yuffie said abruptly, causing Cloud to go red.

"That's…that's not appropriate."

"Come on. Who agrees, right? Kairi, Axel?"

"Shut the fuck up, Yuffie." The redhead snapped.

"Ooh! Getting all defensive, I see? Are you all frustrated now because…"

"Shut up!"

"Axel!" Cloud interrupted, "Come on. You guys seriously should learn to get along better." He sighed.

* * *

The hour dragged on in uncomfortable silence, and when Cloud dismissed them all, Axel practically flew from the room, towards Roxas' bedroom.

He pushed open the door without knocking, but the blonde wasn't in there.

A voice behind him made him jump, and he spun round to come face to face with Yuffie. The small girl pouted and folded her arms over her chest.

"Hey, you move along fast, red. A new guy already?" She smirked.

"Don't start, Yuffie, this whole…thing…is bad. Really fucking bad."

"What about Saix? Don't you keep in contact anymore?"

"Don't mention his name. Ever."

"Oh, what, bad break-up?" Yuffie chided, until Axel pushed her back against the wall roughly.

"He told Tifa that I raped him so he could leave." The redhead growled into her ear, "So yeah, I'd say that was a bad break-up."

The girl let out a tiny gasp, "Oh my God, I didn't know, he never told me…"

"Told you?"

"Um…yeah…I've met up with him a few times…we live near each other…" Her gaze dropped to the floor.

Axel snorted, "Huh, I like how you two are so fucking chummy, but you've never tried to contact me. I see how it is." He pushed back, walking down the corridor to his room and slamming the door.

"Axel!" Yuffie followed after the redhead, banging on his door with her fist, "Axel, I'm sorry, I'm sorry about what he did to you, if I'd have known, I wouldn't have kept in contact with him, I swear!" She sighed and stepped back, giving up, when movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention.

"Roxy!" She squealed, barrelling up to the blonde, grinding to a halt just before slamming into him, "Axel is being mean, all because I mentioned his Ex." She pouted.

Roxas' mouth gaped, "His…Ex?"

"Well, ok, I guess they aren't Ex's because they technically never went out…but…what do you call it when two people are fucking?"

"Fu…"

Yuffie raised an eyebrow, before huffing, "You guys are no fun at all." She stormed off to the girls' side, leaving Roxas standing bewildered in the hallway.

* * *

**A/N- Yeah.**

**So guysss I noticed that this fic has 59 reviews so far :D And...I dunno, how about we try and get it to at least 100 before the story is over? *cute smile*  
**

**~Ryu  
**


	12. Day Twelve

**A/N- I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG *grovels* I can't believe it. I'm sure you all have forgotten about this by now.**

**I could come up with excuses, but the truth is, my personal life recently has been a big clusterfuck of afgshdwjfklkj and I have writers block so bad I thought I'd never write again. I still have it and the last part of this chapter was so hard to grind out. It's clunky and it sucks, but I managed it for you guys, 'cause I love you.  
**

**forgive? *hopeful smile***

* * *

Find me...again

* * *

Axel wasn't at breakfast. He'd not showed up for dinner the previous evening either and Roxas was worried. The only thing he'd heard of the redhead's situation was when Tifa had murmured to Cloud that he was downright refusing to leave his room, as she handed the student nurse a tray of food to take to him.

The blonde was sure whatever was up with Axel had something to do with Yuffie, not to mention that every time he looked in the girl's direction she turned away quickly, like she was watching him or something.

The whole situation was just adding stress onto Roxas' already frazzled nerves, because, by his calculations, there would be only one more day until Hayner, Olette and his mother received his letters.

His mother and brother would find out what a…slut he was, Olette would find out the truth about him…and Hayner…Hayner would find out how much he'd _cared _about him. That their fling was, to Roxas, not just a fling.

The mere thought of it made him want the ground to swallow him. He was severely regretting those letters.

* * *

His morning was spent in the school room with Zexion, and Yuffie who surprisingly could play the keyboard, so Selphie had volunteered her to be in the band, which was now named 'Recovery' as they'd all had a vote and agreed with Axel's name choice.

The redhead didn't make an appearance the entire time, and he wasn't at lunch either.

Roxas grew steadily more on edge as the day wore on.

* * *

"You seem…distracted today Roxas."

"Hmm?" Roxas turned away from the window to face Aerith, who was settled back in her armchair, smiling at him, "Oh, sorry. I've got a few things on my mind…"

"Care to share them? It's what I'm here for."

Roxas just shrugged. He didn't want to stir up trouble for Axel by mentioning what Yuffie said about an ex, and he wasn't sure now was the right time to tell her about the letters either. He wanted to see what the reactions were from the receivers first.

"Um…not yet." He whispered, "But, maybe…maybe soon. I'm not making any sense, sorry."

"That's ok, Roxas. How are you getting on with the journal?"

"I wrote…a little, but I haven't written anything for a while."

"Ok, well, did you find that it helped in any way?"

He had to think about it, but yes, it did seem to make him feel a little bit better, lighter, when he wrote about what had happened between himself and Hayner.

"Yeah, I think it did." He said, and Aerith smiled.

"Good."

* * *

Cloud was standing outside Axel's bedroom door when Roxas passed to get to his own room, like a guard, and voices could be heard from inside. Suddenly, a crash rang out and Tifa exited the room, sighing deeply, and rubbing her temples with her fingertips.

"He threw the tray. There's food everywhere." She muttered to Cloud, "I'll find one of the cleaners to help me clear up the mess, will you be ok escorting him to the solitary confinement room?"

The student nurse nodded, "Sure, no problem."

Tifa looked up, noticing Roxas standing watching her, his hand resting on the door handle of his room, "Roxas, honey, it might be best if you go in your room for a while, just while we sort this, to be safe."

"Is he…ok?" The blonde found himself asking, with a blush.

Tifa just flashed him a sympathetic smile, ushering him into his pink room.

* * *

One hour of staring at his wall later, there came a quiet knock at Roxas' door.

"Yeah?" He responded, barely loud enough for whoever it was the other side to hear him.

"Roxas, it's Tifa, can I come in for a sec?"

"Sure."

The door clicked open, and the head nurse walked in, closing it behind her before sitting on the edge of the blonde's bed. He eyed her warily, not liking the concerned look on her face.

"Roxas…We have to have an emergency faculty meeting for tomorrow concerning Axel, and I thought, as you've gotten close to him, that you should know something…"

Roxas frowned, "What is it?"

Tifa tuned her body more towards him, "I don't want this to affect your progress in any way…" She trailed off, looking thoughtful for a second, as if she didn't quite know what to say.

"Look, please just tell me!" Roxas snapped, before shrinking back, "…Sorry…"

The head nurse sighed deeply, "There is a chance that Axel will be sent to Hollow Bastion."

"What? But he's not dangerous or anything!" Roxas cried.

"There are concerns about his violent outbursts, which although they have always been present, in recent days they have become progressively worse, plus there are certain…previous convictions…that are a cause for concern, particularly since he has become attached to you."

"What previous convictions?" Roxas asked, anger and curiosity taking over his mind.

"I can't tell you that…"

"Do you know what? Since I've come here, everything has been more fucked up than it was before! How is any of this supposed to help? I still fucking cut, I still hate everything, no one tells me anything, and the _one person _I've become closer to than anyone else, is going to be taken somewhere else and leaving me all alone to rot here. Thanks, Tifa, you are doing a fucking great job!" Roxas gripped his hair, breathing hard from his outburst.

"Roxas, you have been here less than two weeks. You have severe depression, did you honestly think that was all going to go away this quickly and everything would be sunshine and rainbows?" Tifa said calmly, despite Roxas' insults, "Axel is an extremely disturbed young man, and, believe it or not, we want what's best for him, and all of you. Don't you think I would prefer to look after him myself? I've known him for four years, and I care about him, I truly do, and I'd do anything to see him get better, that's why I think it may be best to send him somewhere where they stand a better chance of helping him. I just…I want him to have a normal life." Her voice cracked, and she turned her head away, her long dark hair forming a curtain, blocking her face from view. The room was deathly silent for a second before she took a deep breath a spoke again. "I feel that way about all the kids that come here."

Roxas was speechless. He opened and closed his mouth silently a couple of times. Torn between his previous annoyance and the urge to try and comfort Tifa. He settled for placing a hand lightly on her back, and she smiled at him.

"Come on, it'll be dinner in a few minutes."

* * *

Roxas picked at his burger, still a little shocked that he'd witnessed the ever-strong Tifa break down a little. She was back to her normal self, keeping an eye on Zexion, Kairi and Yuffie whist Cloud was presumably with Axel in the solitary confinement room.

Something solid connected with the side of his foot and he glanced down momentarily to see a large chunk of burger bun on the floor. When he looked back up he caught Zexion's' eye, who subtly shook his head before glancing at Tifa.

Yuffie, who was sitting one (empty) seat away from Roxas, turned to face him briefly and whispered, "Go to the solitary room. I'll cause a distraction; I've planned it with Axel."

The blonde's eyes widened and he nodded quickly, wondering what on earth the two had been planning. He pushed his plate away from himself, mumbling to Tifa if he could be excused as he didn't feel so good.

"Sure, Roxas." The nurse replied, eyeing him up and down briefly, "You do look pale. I've heard there's something like a cold going round the University campus nearby, so it could easily spread here."

At the other end of the table, Demyx groaned, "No…not more germs…"

"I'll come and check on you once stationary period is over. Try and get some sleep." She finished, nodding, and Roxas swiftly left the room.

Just as he was halfway down the corridor, wondering how on Earth he was supposed to see Axel, when Cloud was in the solitary room keeping an eye on the teen, a loud crash sounded from the dining room, and the student nurse sprinted past him towards the commotion.

* * *

"Yuffie actually did something right…" Axel said with a lopsided grin as Roxas slipped into the empty room, closing the door behind him with a click.

"When did you guys…plan this?"

"We have our ways." The redhead said solemnly, nodding his head.

"This can only reflect badly on you…for your meeting tomorrow…" Roxas dropped his head.

"Hey, they as good as told me I'm leaving anyway. Being shipped off to Hollow Bastion where all the real crazies belong." Axel's voice was uncharacteristically soft, and he moved to stand in front of Roxas, wrapping his arms around the younger boy, "Guess I'll fit in then…"

"Don't…don't say that." Roxas whispered, breathing in the now familiar and comforting smell of menthol cigarettes.

"C'mon, Roxas…don't be naïve. I'm no good for this place…for you…"

The blonde tilted his head up and captured Axel's lips in a soft, meaningful kiss, "Then…it's goodbye?" He asked his voice cracking.

"Hey. Come on. What happened to keeping in touch?" Axel asked, "We can keep in contact and then meet on the outside, right?"

"Yeah…"

"And we can hang out, and smoke, and…get tattoos. Man I want a tattoo. Maybe I'll go real crazy and get one on my face!" The redhead exclaimed.

"I'd pay to see that." Roxas chuckled, before sighing deeply.

"You should go before Cloud comes back." Axel whispered.

"Just…give me a minute." Roxas squeezed the older boy against him tighter, willing himself not to cry.

"Hey…you'll crack all my ribs, Rox. You never know, they might let me stay." Axel said, his own voice giving out a little, as he swallowed audibly.

"I hope so…I think…I think I need you, Axel…"

They kissed again, deeper, clinging on to each other as if their lives depended on it, until Axel used up the last of his self-control to usher the blonde out of the room before Cloud came back, covered in bits of food from the food fight Yuffie had initiated.

* * *

**A/N- Is this the end for Axel and Roxas? What will everyone's reactions be when they get Roxas' letters? Tune in next time to find out!**

**Also, I love reviews *hint, hint*  
**

**Thanks for sticking by this.  
**

**It's nearly over.  
**

**~Ryu  
**


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